This is intensely difficult, triggery stuff to talk about and the ways to express ^it^ are infinite, as are the ways to cope. When I find myself triggered by somebody else's approach, I first excuse myself from the dialog. I can't expect myself to stay reasonable in a triggered state. I then begin plying the support group slogan to take what I like and leave the rest. To each his/her own.

Just my personal approach . . . Continued support while you find what works for you.

Pass on a number for counseling, and then let it go. And find other friends to vent to.

If she was abused too, it's beyond your ability to help her. If she's got other issues, then it's also beyond your ability to help her.

People like to one-up you when you have a horrific story to tell so maybe she was just trying to identify with you by making her own story a little more awful. I wouldn't be sharing many stories with my friends, though. I have found it just doesn't work. Find a good counselor, one with some problems they have gone through themselves if possible as in an older therapist and "unload" to them and online sites like this one; friends rarely understand any of what you have gone through and truly can't identify and don't know what to say. Keep it light with friends and you may be able to keep them. Go into the dark with them and you may loose them. People want to tell you their stories, not listen to yours. Harsh, but a reality just the same. Best of my thoughts and support to you and good luck!

Ann99: I don't want to doubt her, we're like cousins. The person she's saying assaulted her just recently passed away this past December and we were both very close to that person. Now when I think of him, I see a child molester when I know it may not be true. I don't want that to be the last memory of him. I refuse to believe its true but that means I'm calling my friend a liar.

Hand over a number for counelors' services, and wish her luck. Whatever the case, she needs professional help. Safe distance.