Not sure what to say but wanted to give you a big hug or support and say i hope things get easier for you! Praying you have a better day!

So far I don't have any food allergies, Marah (knock on wood because that could change). But I did find out that I was allergic to codeine the hard way--and, of course, at the worst possible time, when I was sick with pneumonia and was prescribed a strong cough syrup with codeine in it. Pneumonia was bad enough, but my codeine allergy symptoms added another layer of misery to getting over it. I did get over it, though, so I hope you get over what you're going through right now, too. We're with you here.

Go in to talk with them, they said let’s compromise, organic vanilla is fine. Ok. But then it’s not fine bc I am refusing what they’ve offered and I’ve put the effort forward to try it and it’s not working for me. I’m not eating it. Also, approached the allergy issue by saying “I read the ingredients. There’s nothing in there you’re allergic to.” Really.....? I had the group therapist go tell them what she witnessed yesterday. Because she was concerned for my physically. It was visibly apparent that I was having breathing issues. So I’m mad. But proud of myself for just being mad and continuing to eat what’s on my meal plan.

Anger can be good fuel. And food allergies aren't as simple as people (even professionals) think. Gluten isn't always why people can't deal with wheat, for example. So... yeah... supportive purrs to you.

PS: I can look "okay enough" that y pain is underestimated. Wish I could explain that if I don't look okay, I'm probably about to lose consciousness, but... Well, it sucks.

Leo, that last bit could’ve easily been written by me. When one therapist checked in I said I was fine but also felt really lightheaded and probably needed to check my o2. But I waited it out. Zyrtec kicked in. I did have a chance to process all of it with the group and it helped so much to have the space and I sobbed. My Sunday morning flashback and the not being validated when I say it’s an allergy and just the circular confusing conversation were all very triggering and the pressure cooker needed to release. I’ve never cried so hard in front of others. And I’ve never been so heard. They were with me. Some of them wanted to fight for me. They just let me have the space. I spoke with my therapist after group and felt really exhausted and not ready to dive into some traumas we were skirting around so we did a mindfulness exercise. It was silly and strange and helpful and I’m supposed to practice it throughout the week with things at home. I got to know my wood floor quite well today. The groves are all so different. I can feel them under my feet but I feel them more pronounced if I get down and touch them with my fingers. I did this while cooking dinner and listening to my current favorite artist. I’m doing okay. Seriously fearing that I won’t have a support system when I get out of this program, that no one will save space for my drama or trauma....that’s really hard. But today is only my third day in the program so, I’m okay.