Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
content warning: sexual abuse, self harm
my ptsd results from a sexually abusive boyfriend, the death of my mother (which involved prolonged suffering and anxiety for us all), and mental/emotional abuse from my step father. this all happened between the ages of 11 and 16 and i have been trying to work through it since then (im 21 now)
ok, now that the explaination is out of the way, i'll just get to it. i feel like i'm back at the beginning, like i'm 16. my father is dying of cancer. it's been a long process, but thankfully i am far from him and my hometown now. it sounds selfish but i have been doing my best to distance myself because i feel like im being retraumatized. i did have to visit home recently and saw my abusive ex in public. i was alone and he started to come toward me. i know that i was basically safe and everything ended up being fine but i do not feel fine at all since visiting.
i dont know how to describe what's happening to me in terms other than memories and images in quick flashes. i dont feel like it's even a full on flashback... just terribly haunting things that i can't stop from bothering me right now.
Honestly I'm not sure the purpose of posting this other than needing an outlet and having no one to turn to. I'm trying very hard not to relapse in self harm but i am having a seriously difficult time self soothing.
i'm afraid to leave my college campus. i'm afraid of being alone at night. i feel like i cant stop this loop playing in my head and i dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt myself but i almost feel as though i need to in order to exhaust myself enough to shut off my mind and so i can finally sleep..
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
It ended up that I now teach psyc classes on grief at a community college. You know, the 5 stages of grief and all of that. There are lots of newer models to follow nowadays and I recommend them all, but still those 5 stages seem to be a good place to start for lots of people I teach. They still are for me, too.
Much support to you, and I'm glad you found us. This is a healing place.
Do you have a therapist sweetie or is there a nurse you can go to at school?.....xo