I cant not deal with it! I am taking Klonopin ODT 1mg twice a day, morning and early afternoon. I can take my sleeping med at night but was changed to half a pill every other night its sedating me too much.. I am so so scared about my dad, his arms and everything is so skinny he looks like he got out of a concentration camp i am not exaggerating on that! We are adding coconut milk to his oatmeal (higher fat and calories) and adding coconut oil to anything we can since he said he doenst taste it, FINALLY got him eating, and got him to agree to drink 3 ensure enlive a day its 350 calories and 20 grams protein a bottle, he was refusing but mom told him last night how scared we are and that he WILL die from the chemo and cancer if he does not make himself eat! And drink the ensure! The nurse stressed it today again too when she came. Mom was too scared too so she had me change his dressing and drain his lung, we have to know how to on our own if needed. I have done feeding tubes with late husband only difference is type of dressing and its coming out instead of stuff going in really. I cook, clean, do laundry for 4 people a 3 bedroom house ( live in a 1 bedroom very small apt just 2 of us normally but we been staying helping my parents) i take care of 7 dogs i do have some help with them but its mainly me and my fiance., m y fiance takes care of the yard work my parents live in an 80 acre farm only raise dogs now no other animals and my fish is here. They have 6 dogs i have 1 and a fish. My friend cookes on weds for us. My mom keeps saying she will cook one night a week but has yet to do it. She does help with some cleaning some days but not a lot. I am terrible severe chronic pain 24/7 and im in a flare right now again with my fibro AND my back and it goes thru my hips and down my legs BAD my fiance just rubbed CBD cream all over my legs and knees and top of my feet hoping it helps. I am suppose to cook like normal but he agreed to make cheese burgers on the grill tonight for me instead. I have done caregiving before but this time its harder to watch. My dad so strong just 5 weeks ago carrying cases of diet coke for me today walks on a walker barely able to make a sentence without running outt abreathe due to the non small cell lung cancer. My strong dad who would carry TWO 50 lbs feed bags at a time for the farm animals, cant get a foot rest up and down on his own on a recliner today. This kills me inside! This is my strong daddy and hes so frail! I cant do this i need strength and dont know where to get it! I am always on the verge of breaking down but hide it so often until the few times when i let myslef break down to my fiance at night. i need your guys support so dang bad right now!