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Oddly, it's the evening of my first day in Uruguay 6,000 miles away and from the USA one of my abusers sent me an email stalking me using a third party email address. For 4 years now I've refused contact from them since after trying reconcile for 10 years I was punched in the face at our family Christmas in 2010.
I was bumming everybody out by having come down with Chronic Kidney Disease and spending lots of time laid up. Being the opposite of caring for the sick is their style. Some folks buy a sick loved one a get well card. Mine punch you in the face. One of the narcissistic traits in my family has been hypochondria for attention, faking illness for attention. So they literally get mad and lash out at you if you really get sick and show them up. As if I would get permanent kidney damage to steel the spotlight from them. Wow.
Back to vent about today's stalking email. I've gained a lot of weight with Chronic Kidney Disease since the nerve damage from neuropathy has killed the nerves in my legs and severely reduced my ability to exercise well. The stalking email was a link to diet advice, which is snotty but also really funny coming from the violently abusive anorexic/bulemic who sent it.
It's ironic that it was sent today, because today is the wedding anniversary of when the abusive parents in our dysfunctional family system. I'm sure it was a stalker's cry for attention, but I didn't think about them all day on their anniversary, honestly. I just thought about what a great day my first day back in Uruguay has been for me. Ha!
My narcissistic abusers know things about me even though I block their emails (as I did today) year after year because one of their church members is a snitch with access to info about me from my workplace. He is a part time teacher at my school. I got permission from my school bosses to go on this trip and colleagues are covering me, so at school word got around.
It threatened me at first to have a snitch for my stalkers who is lurking all the time at my own workplace. It certainly is a gross and typical violation of boundaries, a typical stalker's extension of their violent abuse. The snitch for my family actually harassed me 3 years ago with stalking phone calls at my office letting me know he was snitching to them. It was his way of trying to get them into my head, which is what stalker live for. To live in the heads of others because they are failures at living their own lives.
But I confronted him, reported him as a stalker in the workplace to my boss, and wrote a letter to HR establishing boundaries about it. Since then I don't hear from him any more, but I got this little email via third party today just to let me know they're watching.
Fine. Let them bore themselves to death watching me live my life without them. They're pathetic.
I posted this on the 1st day in Uruguay thread I had started, but I put it here as a separate thread because I know there are friends at DS PTSD who have stalkers, too. This is a chance for me to show some solidarity back.
Stalkers. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em. They sure do need to get their own lives, don't they?
I wish I could say it flattered me to be thought of. But you know how it is with stalkers. It's never really about you. It's just about them, about control, and trying to suck you into their deranged fantasy world since they can't live in the real one.
Anybody else ever been stalked intercontinentally? Geez.
I was bumming everybody out by having come down with Chronic Kidney Disease and spending lots of time laid up. Being the opposite of caring for the sick is their style. Some folks buy a sick loved one a get well card. Mine punch you in the face. One of the narcissistic traits in my family has been hypochondria for attention, faking illness for attention. So they literally get mad and lash out at you if you really get sick and show them up. As if I would get permanent kidney damage to steel the spotlight from them. Wow.
Back to vent about today's stalking email. I've gained a lot of weight with Chronic Kidney Disease since the nerve damage from neuropathy has killed the nerves in my legs and severely reduced my ability to exercise well. The stalking email was a link to diet advice, which is snotty but also really funny coming from the violently abusive anorexic/bulemic who sent it.
It's ironic that it was sent today, because today is the wedding anniversary of when the abusive parents in our dysfunctional family system. I'm sure it was a stalker's cry for attention, but I didn't think about them all day on their anniversary, honestly. I just thought about what a great day my first day back in Uruguay has been for me. Ha!
My narcissistic abusers know things about me even though I block their emails (as I did today) year after year because one of their church members is a snitch with access to info about me from my workplace. He is a part time teacher at my school. I got permission from my school bosses to go on this trip and colleagues are covering me, so at school word got around.
It threatened me at first to have a snitch for my stalkers who is lurking all the time at my own workplace. It certainly is a gross and typical violation of boundaries, a typical stalker's extension of their violent abuse. The snitch for my family actually harassed me 3 years ago with stalking phone calls at my office letting me know he was snitching to them. It was his way of trying to get them into my head, which is what stalker live for. To live in the heads of others because they are failures at living their own lives.
But I confronted him, reported him as a stalker in the workplace to my boss, and wrote a letter to HR establishing boundaries about it. Since then I don't hear from him any more, but I got this little email via third party today just to let me know they're watching.
Fine. Let them bore themselves to death watching me live my life without them. They're pathetic.
I posted this on the 1st day in Uruguay thread I had started, but I put it here as a separate thread because I know there are friends at DS PTSD who have stalkers, too. This is a chance for me to show some solidarity back.
Stalkers. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em. They sure do need to get their own lives, don't they?
I wish I could say it flattered me to be thought of. But you know how it is with stalkers. It's never really about you. It's just about them, about control, and trying to suck you into their deranged fantasy world since they can't live in the real one.
Anybody else ever been stalked intercontinentally? Geez.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Glad you were able to detach from it. Don't let it throw you off course.
Seriously, though stalkers are plenty dangerous in how far they'll go since they don't have the mirroring neurons in their brains to recognize boundaries, they're the ones with the needy, fragile egos, not us.
blessings and peace,
Leo
PS apparently, my dad got cancer and my sis died just to eff up my counsins' weddings. yeah. wow. here the physicists are wondering where the center of the universe is, and it turns out to be my counsins?! hmmmm
yadlim
I hope you saved the email so you can go back to school and notify HR that the work stalker is still broadcasting your professional business to your abusers.
Major hugs.
I had a safe, good day, though Hope everybody else did. All I had was a student who emailed me 3 times hoping he could buy his textbook for my class at the community college online. He wanted to do that instead of getting up from his computer and going to the bookstore in town back in the USA. He hoped bugging me enough times even though I'm 6,000 miles away I'd give in.
I check in just once a day, so I just told him sorry, Charlie, you gotta go to the bookstore like everybody else. Being here at DS PTSD I've developed more polite but guilt-free boundaries than I used to have. His laziness is not about me, either, but him.
I got a cane today and did some good walking. No exposure therapy today; I did that yesterday, and I'm pacing myself.
My travel companion arrives tomorrow, which will be nice.
I hope everybody's really well. It's so great that I'm still in touch from down here in Uruguay by the magic of the Internet.
Saludos. (Cheers.)
LOL on that student--- I remember standing three hours in line at the bookstore with all those pre-med textbooks in my arms (ow) and just having to wait my turn.... And y'know, funny how many interesting conversations I had, and so on. I remember the long long long counter with the *one* cash register and atop the counter were snacks, and you were on your honor to present the wrapper(s) from what you'd eaten while waiting, and pay for it... It was practi cally a social occasion, more than a "chore".... Thanks for the good memory!
Meanwhile, big hugs, and saludos!
Let them waste their energy caring so much about us... I liken them to a misquote, you know that buzzing sound drives you nuts, you also know that that buzzing sound can sting you... But the reality is, if you get stung it only is itchy for a bout a week and it is just a tiny bump... Really small and insignificant in the greater scheme of life if you know what I mean? So you... Sometimes the misquote buzzing gets on my nerves but it won't distroy me!