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sounds of silence

arfie
arfie

part of me says this post is off-topic since i was introduced to the debate in creative writing class, but it is an important topic in my personal psychotherapy. there are many folks in my life who insist my silence can be used as a deadly weapon. equally, other folks have told me that when i bear witness to silences where words are not enough, i offer more comfort than words possibly can. so i've been told. taking that on faith has been one of my psychotherapy trust exercises. if you say so. . . in you i trust.


it is far easier for me to see and evaluate my responses to other people's silence. i have my theories as to why, but simple observations get me further than theorating on the whys and wherefores. in this go-round, i find myself wanting to list the different flavors of silence and to take inventory on how i respond to those different flavors. in the interest of small steps, i'm starting with a bare bones list. an outline?


1) the anxious silence. 


2) the awkward silence.


3) the thunderous silence.


4) the serene silence


5) the joyful silence


6) the meditative silence.


7) the dissociated silence.


there are probably more, but. . . itsy bitsy baby steps. . .


am i making sense? thoughts?

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Yup, you're making sense to me. Silence speaks, too, and not always in the same way. Withholding can sometimes be just as powerful as words. Context is everything when it comes to silence. Of course, it's tricky because we tend to fill in the gaps with our imagination of what silence means only to find out that sometimes upon consulting the other person that we were off. It might bug other people, but in my own experience it helps to literally ask someone what their silence means rather than go with my own assumption. Sometimes it's not so, but more often than not my assumption was more drastic than what the silence meant to the silent persons themselves.
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
I figure that we assume someone else's silence means what we assign it to mean. (? Bad grammar, sorry.) That's after a couple decades of me assuming it meant what it meant in myc hildhood (bad news). Working on it here, but you make good sense to me.
lilmissy7
lilmissy7
Hola,
I have trouble with silence but then at the same time look for silence sometimes or something. I think probably maybe having to do with stuff growing up or life occurrences or something (sorry I’m speaking super weird today pushing through dissociation)
but a lot of times I have to remind myself that silence in others doesn’t automatically mean something bad or something bad happened to them.

But then i deal with the dissociative silence a lot

Also seek silence feel like I’m permanently trying to avoid chaos in a way or something

I hope that made any sense
Big hug <3
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Feedback from folks has made me aware of the power of my own dissociative silence. I try to communicate through it instead of just shutting down.
arfie
arfie
as one who has lived with periodic deafness for her entire life, silence is an especially complex topic for me. on my best days, my hearing is unreliable. a physical cause has never been found for that periodic deafness. when i contemplate possible roots for psychosomatic deafness, i often think the cause is people whose words do not match their silent communications. you've been lying to me from the first, "i am fine. how are you?" why should i listen further.

in my world, "fine" is more common than honesty.

how am i? none of your freaking business, liar.
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