Yes, I can't change my DNA, after all, none of us start out as a clean slate, we inherit a lot of who we are. I just figure what I can do is to take those attributes I inherited and turn them to good, like that old line about hammering swords into plowshares. So far so good. Fingers crossed.

I don’t understand

I not only find myself sounding like abusive family members. I look like several of them, too. If broken mirrors bring 7 years bad luck, my bad luck will cover several lifetimes. How dare you show up in my mirror, you %$#^#$&$%#$%

It's a toughie and has been the subject of ALLOT of therapy sessions. Perhaps my most successful exercise so far has been trying to imagine what that family member could of have accomplished if their illnesses had not been so severe. For whatever reason, that exercise helped, but only helped. It remains a toughie.

I often tell myself that I am made of matters every day, but it decides nothing. Some days I believe me. Some days more than others.

Hope I didn't just confuse you even further. For sure it is confusing stuff.