I am so sorry to hear that. I understand PTSD very well. I have been dealing with this for all my life and I am 53. Maybe have a talk with your son to help him understand that this is absolutely no joke.

I agree with the above post. At that age I'm sure he can understand and be supportive. As its hard with PTSD and DID I'm sure your child can lend a compassionate gesture.

Because he's 13. (My daughter has just turned 14, my son is 16.)

At 13, he's starting to feel like he understands the world. The kids at school trade jabs. They don't yet really know what words hurt, and what words don't. Honestly, if you haven't let him in on your issues before now, I would wait a few years. He'll be a different person at 16.

Sometimes people just don't know how to react to a situation. Knowledge can lead to understanding. I agree with patti too.
It sounds hard to juggle everything you're going through. Sorry you're feeling sad. Tomorrow's another day. Sometimes when I'm sad I listen to music. A song I'm reminded of is 'Around the Sun' when he says "Hold on world 'cause you don't know what's coming
Hold on world 'cause I'm not jumping off
Hold onto this boy a little longer
Take another trip around the sun"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWG8odl_XLM

I find myself getting confused on when you are talking about, "Inner Children" or real-time children, Precious. Not too sure my confusion matters in your sorting, but. . .

I am not too sure 13 year olds can help making fun of things. It is a confusing age where their bodies and life views are changing so fast that it is hard to keep up, even for them. Toys can be an especially tough subject. Yesteryear's toys are losing their appeal and they haven't quite established the new preference set. Then we get to the gender-casting. . . My own sons had fits with the fact that these days girls get to play with whatever appeals to them while boys still get bullied horribly for playing with "girl toys."

13 is a tough age. Gentle support while you ride it out, Presh.

Big hugs, to you and your "little girls" and even your son. He's trying to seem Adult and Macho and Bad-A**, and it manifests differently one kid to another. My guess? He's mocking b/c he thinks that's the way to get things to His Way. It's not nice behavior, and please tell him the Puma said so. You're his mom. When he's 13, 30, or 103, you're his mom. All he needs to know, IMHO, is this helps you work out your pain, and mocking you is hurting you, and it's not okay. However upside down he feels (and Arfie's right, puberty is just clinical insanity with a time limit, IMHO).... still not okay to hurt his mom. You're a wonderful person trying to sort out things your son will hopefuly never have to understand. Do for you what you have to....

Big hug for you sweetie... I agree with the others that it's important to recognize what's age appropriate for him so he's not overwhelmed at what he can't do to help you... This may be frustration for him.... Gentle hug for you and your little girls... I hope you'll feel a little better soon...xo

I'm sorry that this happened. You have to remember that your is just 13. His brain hasn't fully developed yet. He might not have the ability to fully understand or empathize with what you are going through yet. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or that he doesn't care about you. I think you just need to tell your son he hurt your feelings and ask (tell) him not to do that again. That's part of setting boundaries (something I'm terrible with!). That's also good for him to see modeled, so he can learn to set his own boundaries and to respect others'. This is actually a very teachable moment, because you have a great opportunity to show him that other people have feelings and what he does impacts them. That's how kids can learn empathy. I'm not sure how much you have explained to him, but maybe you could talk to your therapist (if you have one) about how to talk to him about it.

Just a thought ; did you get something for him, too, or just his sisters? Please understand I'm not saying you did anything wrong! But maybe this was his way of saying he was hurt by not getting anything himself. Maybe a magazine on something that interests him, like car, skateboards, computers? As many people said earlier age 13 is not-quite-a teen and not-still-a child. I'm really sorry this hurt your feelings - it's even worse coming from someone we love. Please be gentle with yourself

I brought him along to help me pick things that he could play with my Littles with. We picked out cars and trucks because I multiple personality "disorder" and I have a 3 year old, 5 year old, 6 year old, 9 year old, 10 year old, 13 year old and a 17 year old. I had him help me pick out things to do with the girls so that at some point we can all play together and he was down with that but now that I told him he can't have a tricycle that his dad built him out of junk he's throwing a fit and now throwing the fact that I have cars and trucks back in my face. I haven't even let the little girls play with them yet and he's already making fun of me for having them???? I didn't ask for this to happen to me, it just did. It speaks volumes to the horror I suffered as a very small child. What does he want me to do? Tell him everything that I've been through? That would be a little too much for his psyche to handle, IMHO.

I get that he's throwing a fit and being an ass but seriously?? This isn't fair and I have two angry girls that I am trying like hell to keep under wraps because they want to hurt him for hurting the littler girls. This is just such a mess. I'm ready to just walk away from him and not look back. If he's going to spend the next however long being cruel to me, I'm done.

This is the HARD (not yelling, caps for emphasis) part about being a parent. I totally get this. As much as I wanted kids I worried and worried and worried about my issues bumping up against them just being kids.

He's not your therapist. He can't be your therapist. It's great that he plays with your littles...it actually really is. But....he's not your therapist. He's 13. So you're going to have to protect him from whatever anger your littles have. He comes first. He comes before them. He's not being an ass...he's being 13. He's not your abuser either, although his tone, size and actions may look more like whoever hurt you.

I haven't seen the tricycle, but that's the kind of thing that 13 year old boys sometimes like to tear apart and put back together again. What's the harm in letting him have it? He can run it off jumps and destroy it 500 different ways. Wear himself out.

Then after a day of that, he'll be more understanding of coming back and playing with cars for a few minutes...


(((My issues are different from yours. But the triggering and conflict and yes anger...that you seem to be expressing are VERY familiar to me. Hugs, I get it. I really, really, really get it.

YOU are strong. You've made it through far worse than parenting. You can do this too!
Patti)))

Thirteen year olds are trying to figure themselves out. You may be expecting too much from him even though you really need him to be 17 or 18. For now I think you'll need to keep your little girls hostilities under control. No, life isn't fair. Big hugs and lots of support.

((((((((hugs))))))))))

I'm actually feeling a little better. I have decided that he doesn't need to know anything more than he already does and if the girls want to come out and play they can do that while he's gone. It's not fair to me to be beat up on verbally and emotionally just because he doesn't understand. I haven't even pulled the toys out for the girls yet and he's making fun of me. It may seem drastic to a lot of people here but I'm at a point now where I don't want him anywhere around me. He's 13 and already abusive towards me. I keep having to call the cops on him because he's so violently out of control. Where is the fairness in that??? I have another child to think about. What about her safety? Is it fair that she locks herself in grandma's room until he calms down just so she won't get hurt? Then after he cools off he acts like it was no big deal. Really??? What planet did this kid fall off of?!

Is your son real? Or is he a little?

If he's real...then he REALLY REALLY needs help. He's 13, you're his mother. You don't have the option to walk away, and you don't get to say that a child is abusing you. If you can't give him the help he needs, then you need to make sure that he finds it.

If he's a little...the same thing.

Is it fair to other children in the home? No. But it's not fair to him either. If you don't care...the chances of anyone else caring are slim to none.

Rather than spankings (which did NOT work) or timeouts (which ALSO did not work), I taught my son to go to his room....and distract himself (with toys/ books/ drawing/ music) until he calmed down. If he was out in 5 seconds and calm? Fantastic...that was my goal...for him to learn how to calm himself at will.

When things go great with kids...they learn it at 3-4-5 years old. My son learned it at 6-7-8. Your son is having to learn it even later. But it IS a skill, and CAN be learned.

And yes, when he calmed down...my son also acted like it was "no big deal". Well so did my daughter at 3...only with her it was seen as "cute". Everyone seems to want to punish the "no big deal' attitude. But if you can get your kid to learn to self calm in seconds....the "no big deal" attitude works FOR you big time.