Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Help!!! I need my friends on this site who are like me, with PTSD!
First, I met a guy for a second date. We had coffee then walked into the city. We're just getting to know each other. Well, I dropped into the conversation that i had a breakdown and was in and out of psych hospital for a while there. He asked what I was diagnosed, so i said 'schizo affective', feeling more and more like he's going to do a runner. He asked what my issues still are, and I said, well I can't work full time and I can't handle much stress.
He said something about 'so you need a partner who's going to be....' whatever he said.
Like with me being in AA. 'so you need a partner who doesn't drink?'
OH GOD, what's this guy thinking? No wonder I don't do dates!
All up we talked for 2 hours, and he kissed me on the cheek goodbye. but I can't help feeling i didn't pass the interview.
Then it was straight to a good friends dinner party. What a NIGHTMARE for my nerves! All loud talk and cross talk and loud laughter. It was hideous, I felt like my nervous system is shot to pieces.
I was sitting there with everyone talking around me, feeling quite miserable.
I've never been much for social things.
Now I'm back home, I was the first to leave dinner, had to apologize.
Now it's just me and the kitties, and the TV turned low, and I feel MUCH BETTER.
First, I met a guy for a second date. We had coffee then walked into the city. We're just getting to know each other. Well, I dropped into the conversation that i had a breakdown and was in and out of psych hospital for a while there. He asked what I was diagnosed, so i said 'schizo affective', feeling more and more like he's going to do a runner. He asked what my issues still are, and I said, well I can't work full time and I can't handle much stress.
He said something about 'so you need a partner who's going to be....' whatever he said.
Like with me being in AA. 'so you need a partner who doesn't drink?'
OH GOD, what's this guy thinking? No wonder I don't do dates!
All up we talked for 2 hours, and he kissed me on the cheek goodbye. but I can't help feeling i didn't pass the interview.
Then it was straight to a good friends dinner party. What a NIGHTMARE for my nerves! All loud talk and cross talk and loud laughter. It was hideous, I felt like my nervous system is shot to pieces.
I was sitting there with everyone talking around me, feeling quite miserable.
I've never been much for social things.
Now I'm back home, I was the first to leave dinner, had to apologize.
Now it's just me and the kitties, and the TV turned low, and I feel MUCH BETTER.
What were you thinking when he said what he did? Were you thinking he was counting himself out or counting himself in as a partner for you?
Sounds like you weren't ready for the dinner party, too many people and talking for an overly stimulated brain.
Glad you felt free to leave and get back home where you are safe and calm.
I applaud you for even going. I might have made myself sick before I ever went.
Geez, it's been so long since I've been to a party. I think I would have reacted the same way you did. I'm jealous of your kitties. I want my damn cat back. Try to enjoy the really great woman you are.
k, not funny. :)))
I guess it was just sounding worse and worse, but he did contact me again today! So you never know your luck. The psychiatrists said 'schizo affective', a psychotherapist once said 'complex PTSD.'
And all my mental illness is from abuse and trauma, so I think the psychotherapist is right.
Thanks, virlaceygo, I think I have a lot to offer in a relationship, with what i've worked through.
I was toldf by a psychiatrist I was seeing when i had the guy bolt NOT to take it personally and just date date date until you might find the right fit. It's harder for us because of these complications, but it's all about keeping out there. Having said that, I don't date because I'm always in crisis control with all my mental health issues. I'm always waiting for a lull in which I have the capacity to even put myself out there, but there never seems to be a lull.
Myself, I've found that I needed an awful lot of healing before I get too close to a guy. I have ruined relationships with some awfully nice guys.
I guess I have to say I admire you for talking about your problems. They say you are as sick as your secrets, so it shows you are doing some healing.
Bravo!