No family no friends no one.

I am so sorry Looney. There is nothing wrong with you, you were subjected to things you should not have been but you are a wonderful loving person who gives so much.

I have a feeling I will be single until its my time. It is lonely. You have us here always. I am just starting to venture out, even by myself on my terms and its helping a lot. Is there anything social you can try to get out and do to meet more people? I know its hard. One of my friends just started grooming therapy with horses and she loved it. Maybe volunteering?

Aside from parent to infant child...I never believed in Unconditional Love. My kids are well aware that they can push me over the limit, as I could with them. Forgiveness/ "Just walking past hurts" is a well worn theme in the house. And well I agree, unconditional love, doesn't attract the same. I call it having a "Little Red Hen" moment, and my kids have True Respect for them.

All I can say, is that it's never too late to reward people who are willing to give as well as receive.

Hugs Looney, thinking of you.

Im sorry looney. Ur a lovely person and im sad to hear ur not happy. U have ur ds family here who think ur great. Hugs.

I'm still struggling with that "Unconditional Love" business, myself. As the mother of abusive middle-aged adults, it has even been challenged on the maternal front. Harshly. Unconditional self-love? ? ? Well. . . At 63, I still feel a profound need to change things about myself. What's unconditional about that? Unconditional love with the new people in my life? Don't healthy relationships require healthy boundaries? More conditions. . .

Dunno. . . I mostly leave that concept alone. None of us get to understand everything. I am growing in my ability to be loving, but the unconditional part still baffles me.

Gentle empathy on the loneliness, Looney. Sometimes I believe that unrequited longings are *simply* part of the human condition. We are hard-wired to want whatever it is we don't have.

Thanks for the support. I don't know what triggered my melt down when I usually accept the way things are to a certain extent. Hopefully my pity party is over. I appreciate the common sense and acceptance here. Best people on the planet.

Ur allowed to pity party every now and then. Ur only human. Be kind to urself. Hugs.

Gentle hugs & empathy looney1 <3

Loo, I'm with you, too. I'm also in the same boat as Dooo here when she wrote:

"I have a feeling I will be single until its my time. It is lonely. You have us here always"

I grew up as the oldest son in a family that was in constant danger as I was raised in a missionary family in an overseas war zone. My missionary dad's work had him travel 28 days out of every month, so I was left with my mom and my sister to protect living 6 years in a combat neighborhood in which our house was located. We lived in a duplex sharing a wall with a neighbor. I had a signal for tapping on the wall for the neighbor, who had a pistol, to come run off intruders when fighters tried to enter our house.

Government oldiers took over our house once for a day, sticking their rifles out my bedroom window. One night their enemy rebels tried to break in, but that time I tapped the wall and our neighbor came and ran them off with his gun.

I mention this to say I nurtured and protected, too, from elementary school on up, and I never learned anything else in relationship. So when I behaved like a protective big brother, two wives who didn't need that divorced me. It hurt because I never cheated or was abusive. I was a good provider (paid for graduate school for both) and even did the cooking and cleaning in the home.

But I didn't know how to do anything else. That they found elsewhere. I'm not saying their adultery was justified, I'm just saying I wasn't rewarded for being protective and nurturing unconditionally, so I know what you mean, I've lived it through two divorces. Since then I re-lived it in dating relationships again that I called off before they led to marriage because I saw I was setting myself up for that again.

Being a Community Leader, I recognize, is part of me being the only thing I know to be in relationships, the protective big brother. So since marriage wasn't a place where that was rewarded (a husband was needed there, not a big brother) I'm so grateful for finding this place where that role is rewarded.

I sure do get where you're coming from, Loo. You're not alone. As Dooo said, "You have us here always." You really do.

Big hug for you and a blessing..... I'm sorry that you're hurting.....xo

I think we can all relate to that lonely feeling. Hang in there, seek therapy, and use your coping skills. Try out different therapists until you find one you like. Hugs....

X• Pretti

Hope you're feeling a little better Looney.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The world would be a darker place without you, we need more people who offer unconditional love. It's important to remember that all of us are damaged in one way or another and you most certainly are not alone. As far as putting others needs before your own.. I know it's easier said than done but that needs to stop. Think of it this way: If you want to help other people, you need to be taken care of yourself. And you can't do that if you continue to put your needs last. I know you may not feel it, but you deserve to be kind to yourself. If you're in a crisis text HOME to 741 741. It's a text crisis line and it's served me well in the past. I hope you feel better soon <3

Im thinking of. Hoping ur feeling better x