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I think I'll be skipping church tomorrow for Father's Day. My common experience in churches around Mother's Day / Father's Day is they like to have a big shindig honoring mothers / fathers, and it's never clicked with me. On Mother's Day, they pass out roses / flowers to all moms I usually end up being the one and only woman without one (not that I want any). But then everyone takes notice and wants to know why I don't have any kids. I really really don't want to talk about it, it's none of their business. But regardless of the answers I've tried to come up wth over the years, they never back off.
So then I'm left feeling ashamed like I failed at life and womanhood because I don't have kids (and everyone my age has kids in their teens already).
On Father's Day.... well, I don't even know where to start because I didn't have a relationship with mine. And the few times he was around growing up, he was an abusive narcissist. So that's another awkward holiday to spend at church (or any gathering, really) too. Tomorrow will be no exception since they are having an "honor your father" day service with a huge BBQ afterwards where the women will be cooking and serving the men. Thanks, but no thanks. I do not feel that connection especially not to other people's fathers. So why cook and serve them? Maybe I'll just go to the beach somewhere alone and read a Bible verse by myself. Maybe I'll even bring my ukulele and play a couple of songs.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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I think its totally fine to take a day to just spend some one on one time with God. He loves you unconditionally and understands your feelings.
Much love <3 Hope you are doing well
Skipping church seems fine idea ot me.
I spent my childhood serving my dad. Constantly. For the snap of his fingers, like we were no different than his dogs. And to him we weren't, I suspect.
Yeah. You'll feel better at the beach.:-) Just stay safe and carry puma power with you!
(BTW, I always want to tell people who ask me why no kids... "My tragedies aren't for your entertainment". How I didn't do that... No clue. Proof of miracles?)
gentle hugs of support, xo
Leo, quite on point about that. I've been serving people my whole life and always cook for my husband. Does he cook for me? Not really. I have 3 brothers, no sisters, so I had to help take care of them too in addition to my mom. I don't feel like cooking and serving a large crowd of men who are perfectly capable of serving themselves. lol. And how many of those dude's wives do the cooking at home too? I'm willing to bet almost all of them. Just, no thanks.
Sorry I'm harping some more. And I'm sorry that others here can relate to my problem. Hugs back to you. Go do something nice for yourself tomorrow (I know I will).
Treat others the way you want to be treated, love others the way you want to be loved.
This applies to all things made by God, not just other people..
hope i didnt offend anyone, it wasnt my purpose to. It just needed to be said, your heart knows the truth, listen to it. now you understand why Jesus never came back.
Being a new parent now with a baby just makes that topic more difficult. I can't see how anyone can treat a child that way. Makes me sick to my stomach.
My husband and I were married for 9 years before we got pregnant and we had a lot of questions.
Honestly, shame on them, it's none of their business whether you have kids or don't. Or what your reasons are.
I think you have a very healthy response in wanting to go to the beach! Enjoy yourself!
I was a church pastor myself, I had to serve as one to qualify to become an ER hospital chaplain. So I admit it. "Honor thy father and thy mother" is one of the 10 Commandments, true. But the holidays Father's Day and Mother's Day themselves aren't in the Bible. You shouldn't be shamed in church on Father's Day, blue. Jesus never had kids, either. Avoid the Father's Day service with zero guilt. Yeah, go with your "Thanks, but no thanks."
The beach was beautiful... it was a gorgeous day, crystal clear water, deep blue seas, sunbeams dancing on the waters, waves rolling up and down the beach, birds singing songs, tropical fish swimming everywhere.....
I brought a little bag of food with me and had myself a small picnic. I read a Genesis ch 1, felt reading about creation was very fitting since I was sitting there with nature staring me right in the face. I walked and talked with God. I went for a swim and looked at the tropical fish. I laid in the shade and took in all my surroundings. Breathed in the salty air, ocean breezes in my hair.
There were a lot of fathers there with their children, snorkeling, walking the beach, eating picnics, too, etc. But I tried not to focus on them because I was there for me. I was spending time with my heavenly Father, if that makes any sense. And I felt like this beautiful day was His way of showing His love for me. My heart was very content and grateful for the beautiful day and blessings.
It was exactly what I needed! My spirit was refreshed. :)
It's perfectly fine, Muji. I understand. I admire the fact that you were a hospital chaplain.