Im so sorry. Just thinking about that makes me sad, I cant imagine what it must have been like to live through it.
Welcome to the group. Im incredibly sorry for the circumstances which brought you here, you have no idea.
《Hugs》

Thank you Pag.mars

oh, my dear, i cannot imagine either.

you brought yourself to a place where there are people who understand trauma as victims.

there is comfort and time here. gentle hugs

you don't need to be alone with this, we are here for one another, that's why we are here

Thank you LillyPotter. It is comforting to know there are people out there. It is hard to go through something like this alone.

When my kids were 12 and 10, their dad's girlfriend, that he'd been living with for 4 years...shot and killed herself in front of my ex. Thankfully my kids weren't in the house when it happened, unfortunately her 3 children were. I never knew her, but I think of Ramona often.

It was wicked hard for my ex to get through.

Heartfelt hugs, Patti

Welcome to the board DG.... I am so very sorry for your loss and the terrible trauma that you've suffered..... Huge hug......xo

Thank you Patty, I appreciate you sharing your story and the hugs

SunCloudJD, thank you as well, your kindness is much appreciated

Dev, that's awful.

TW
When I was in 10th grade of high school I came upon a crime scene just minutes after my best friend's mom shot his dad. I'm glad I didn't see it happen. He did, and it was a serious trauma. For years afterward I followed through as his best friend while his mom went through her trial and then to prison.

I'd already had PTSD from age 9, but I'd never been close to someone else who had PTSD, too. It taught me we're not alone, and sometimes together we can do better going forward.

So sorry for what you went through, but I sure am glad you're here. Welcome. This is a healing place.

i am so terribly sorry for what you went through,and are going through now with the horrible memory of it.

You have found a safe place here to express your feelings.

We care.

Hi Dev. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

A balanced, healthy frame of mind will not let anybody do that sort of thing, Dev. In my own strictly personals, I question the value of understanding insane logics. I don't much care what he was thinking. What I care about is your healing from the trauma.

Welcome to DS. Hope healing happens here.

Hey, and welcome:-) Even though I've been suicidal more than once? I don't grasp self-destructive behavior. (Irony, or what?) There's never a why that makes sense to *us*, in my experience.... It feels so horrible to us that we just can't imagine a satisfactory "why". (My hubby tells me this when I get into my abyss mode.) SO.... just offering support.

I am.a ritualistic cult survivor. I saw many human and animal sacrifices. To this day those images are with me daily. 30 years and still as vivid. Don't think I will ever get over it. Lots of support to you.

Thank you all for your welcomes, sharing your stories and your support. I look forward to finding some healing now that I have found what seems to be a healthy resource for support.

Dear Deveres-Girl,

The healing began when you reached out for support. I applaud your courage, and want to encourage you to stay connected. Just getting out of our own heads can accomplish quite a bit. Praying you get some measure of relief and some comfort over time. Hugs.

eyeteachscience, you are absolutely right about getting out of my head. It is my hardest struggle.