Coping with PTSD can be a lifelong endeavor for some of us. I don't know the nature of your trauma, but it sounds like it's really affecting you, and in that case, the answer is yes; it will take a lot of time, patience, and effort to cope with it and weather the aftermath. This is so for many of us, so just know you're not alone and it's not abnormal in the least. Give yourself a little credit and be kind to yourself. It's not easy, and it's okay.

As for your boyfriend, if he's as amazing as you say, I'm sure he'll be able to understand that it wasn't rejection, and it wasn't anything to do with HIM at all. Your being triggered into a PTSD episode is not his fault, and it's certainly not your fault. It's an unfortunate symptom of the affliction and it's nothing for you to be ashamed of, and it's definitely not something to break up over. Does your boyfriend know about your trauma? If so, try explaining this to him and emphasize that it isn't his fault. If he doesn't know, and you're not comfortable telling him, would you at least be comfortable saying something like, "Due to some things I went through in my past, I live with post-traumatic stress, and what happened had everything to do with that and nothing to do with you"?

Communication is really important. I'm not saying you should use him as your therapist, but he should definitely be aware that what you're going through and the way it affects your life is something that may unfortunately impact you during intimate moments like that so that he can understand that it isn't your fault, and it isn't his fault, and it may be something that could be relieved by a little bit of comfort from him.

I hope this helps, and I hope everything works out with you two. I also hope you're okay now. Definitely work on being patient with yourself and your boyfriend; it'll save you a lot of unnecessary worry.

After 38 years, I still find myself reacting similarwise with my husband and it is still feels like rejection to him, every time. How amazing does that make our 38th anniversary?

We work it through, one round at a time. Sometimes I believe the ongoing effort has given us romantic depths romance novelists/screenwriters don't have the creativity to imagine. I only believe. Proof irrelevant.

Be gentle with yourself and patient with the process, Pinkgnomie. None of us asked for this illness, but it is manageable.

As much as it is difficult, it might be better to find out up front, if he can deal with this or not.

The ones that can...are keepers.

He took it way too personally. He kept saying he couldn't handle it if I rejected him again. I told him it wasn't him, it's my PTSD, I can't manage all the symptoms all the time, I would try... He said it wasn't good enough, accused me of making promises I couldn't keep, he couldn't handle this... I told him I cared enough about him to work through it if sex was that important to him, but all he could do was demand to know when I would sleep with him. "You make it sound like being intimate with me is such a burden! It shouldn't be like that." I told him I would try, but he kept saying it wasn't good enough. The rejection was too much for him. "It is the only way to show we have ultimately bonded," he kept saying, "You need to be able to give yourself to me completely in order to heal from this. I'm the only one who can heal you."
I broke up with him. I blocked his number and everything. I don't need to be pressured or manipulated into having sex. I have worked and fought hard to make myself the person I want to be. I need to be appreciated for that. It's nice to know I have a rockin' body and all that, but whatever. I am more than my parts. I am a strong soul.
The right person will put in the right kind of effort. The right person will ask me questions about myself. The right person will know to give me time to grow with them. The right person will be my friend first and value my presence in their life before anything else. The right person will be able to accept my genuine care for them and appreciate me. The right person will come when the time is right.

So sorry, I know how breaking up like that feels. I got divorced over this after 13 years together, pinkgnomie13. And I was married to someone I'd met in a face to face support group, too, so I thought they were fully prepared to tell the difference between personal rejection and when my PTSD got triggered. But no. We broke up one day when I came home from my face to face support group meeting, in fact.

It's a tough one. I wish I had more encouraging experience to share. I hope you, in turn, will have the good experience to share in the future with that right person.

It's hard because he kept saying he loved me, but all he talked about is sex... I thought I found someone I could be real with, someone I could love. But I didn't.
I can't focus on that. I have to focus on what I gained. I gained a better understanding of how I work and how I need to be loved. I gained a better understanding of the things that I need to see in a partner.