Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Sad

dsf95
dsf95

feelings hurt by a different male dance instructor.


sometimes, while I was dancing at the brewery, I noticed the instructors were emphasizing being appropriate while dancing. I didn't think they were talking about me. But he shouted, "I'm uncomfortable!" near me during class and I came up to him after class and asked about working on my posture. He abruptly put me in dance frame and said don't lean forward too much; don't be that creepy guy" and he put his face an inch in front of mine and I jerked away. I'm pretty sure I don't do that while I'm dancing; so, I couldn't help but wonder if that had something to do with the old dance studio. He is Facebook friends with my ex- dance instructor, but I never thought too much about it.  I sent him a Facebook message asking if he was talking about my current behavior or another studio in the past; he didn't answer, but backpedaled and said that he just wants to teach women to protect themselves. I saw a picture from my dance group on their site with all these jokes about girls being touched in the butt; trying not to think it's about me. I'm going to take a break from dancing, but I'm going to one more event so I can leave on a more positive note. I don't think I want to dance with him anymore, no matter what he meant or didn't mean. 

learningselfvalue
learningselfvalue
His communication style says that your relationship is not a good one. This relationship should be professional in nature, and he doesn't come off as being all that professional. Are you paying him for instruction? If so, then it sounds like you are not getting your money's worth.

I agree that what he meant or didn't mean no longer matters. Moving on would be the healthy thing to do.

As a musician, I've worked with other musicians where things get strange like this, and I'd write it off because they have a certain talent or connection. That was always a mistake.

Best of luck.
dsf95
dsf95
Oh, and at an event a couple of nights before, a dance friend made a point of showing me his Facebook status, which included the phrase, "Bless my enemies'" and said he wasn't going to the brewery next time.
Hmmm.... is this "retaliation" from the studio for my fair, honest business complaint? Are they trying to get me to stop dancing? Bring it on!
dsf95
dsf95
Dancing at the brewery is free
arfie
arfie
I, too, find myself triggering to jam session drama when I read your dance instructor trauma posts, ds. Seems to be a similar class of ego dynamic to the drama. The fact that it is easily possible to play musical instruments alone offers allot of insulation, though. I'm okay letting the jam egos do their thing without me. Insert female musician joke here. I'm already gone. I don't have to pretend I never heard it before. I'm okay expressing myself without all the social dramatics.

Sure hope you find a safe place to ply your Art, ds. Continued support while you sort.
dsf95
dsf95
Thank you Arfie!

Two dancers are in the Irish Society and my husband is active in it. I've really tried to tone down the posts, but I realized that what happened was "real" and there might be emotions on the other side of it. I used to feel like what happened couldn't have been real.

I might try aerobics or yoga where no partners are involved. It's disappointing, but not the end of the world.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
In the 1980s and 1990s I used to dance every weekend at a club called The Jazz House. Now I teach Tuesdays with Morrie in my Death and Dying classes to nursing students at my college, and the film features how in his old age Morrie danced until the end. He was notorious as an old college professor for dancing at a young dance club near his college called Dance Free. I'm on a cane now, so I wish I could do that--but maybe there's a style of dancing with a cane, right?

So being such a fan of dancing, it makes me sad to read that your enjoyment of dance is meeting this kind of thing you describe here, ds. Much support to you.
dsf95
dsf95
Thank you, mujicaptsd!

dsf95
dsf95
My rickshaw co-worker crush "liked" my happy birthday post on his page. At least not every guy hates me, lol!
dsf95
dsf95
Whatever I said in the Facebook message seems to have made him nicer. I had so much fun at the dance event! so glad I forget all the stuff in my head and move forward sometimes! On the minus, column, my brother isnt doing well.
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