Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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the third anniversary of the tragedies which brought my little ship of fools together is passing. despite the psycho snot knots which i untangle here, i am risking the sin of pride over how well we have stabilized and the new normal we have created as a family. the two older children are happy with their school and in danger of having a real-time social network all their own. i still miss my beloved rivers mightily, but the farm restoration project seems to be transitioning into a viable agriculture llc. the dust still itches my nose while i shake my head sadly over what locals call, "a river," but i'm finding new things to appreciate in the great plains ecosystem.
dare i risk contentment? sure as i do, some group of masked (either metaphorical or literal) bandits will come storming up the driveway to take it all away from me. to quote woody guthrie, some will rob you with a six gun and some with a fountain pen.
again i leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. plying mindfulness tools. . . i'm a few fries short of a happy meal, but i've worked with less. i think. . . in my own case, the crazy person really is the last person to know. i seem to be the only one who is fooled by my metaphorical masks.
reality checks requested. am i making sense?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
That about sums up how inter-tangled it all is, for me.
Supportive hugs.
I often consider myself to be a few fries short of a happy meal too when I'm under a storm. Sometimes I do stupid things that imo I classify as stupid.
pineapple,
you might enjoy the theories introduced to me by one of my later breakthrough therapists of treating these episodes like "psychic flu" and to work with the symptoms much the same as you work with the symptoms of physical flu. don't expect yourself to run at full capacity. lots of rest, fluids and soft food. be gentle with yourself and patient with the recovery.
there was a time when i believed that making sense to my own senses is all that should matter at the end of the day. then came the psychotic breaks which had me so far out into lala land that i began to see the benefits of seeking and trusting reality checks. one cannot climb a lifeline which is attached only to your own belt.
the more happy people there are in the world, the happier a place it is.