Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Recent trauma and professor problem
Hi, I'm in my 40's. I went back to college to be a teacher, and have done well in classes. I'm having a problem with one assignment .. I suffer with anxiety and major depressive disorder, which has been well controlled after getting the right medication. Things were finally moving forward quite well; it was a big step to finally be able to have my anxiety controlled enough to handle college. I've been able to maintain a high GPA even. Things had gotten significantly better.
But, the last few months have been challenging. My mom was diagnosed and started treatment for breast cancer (luckily it was detected early). My dad (really step-dad, but he's been there since I was 4) also got very ill at that time. He went into congestive heart failure, luckily, it was reversible, but he's had a lot of issues breathing, swelling joints, that the doctors haven't figured out yet and it's been since October 2017. During all the scans, they found a mass on his kidney. He recently had surgery to remove it and part of his kidney. The doc said 90% of the time it's cancer, but again luckily, we just found out it wasn't cancer just a cyst. He's been doing better recently, but still has some issues and was sent to a new specialist; we're awaiting further testing.
My mom had surgery to remove the cancer. A month ago her elbow swelled and a pocket of fluid gathered, so her doctor drained it with a needle. A month later, my mom's arm swelled suddenly and she went to her doctor. She was in sepsis shock, and was admitted immediately into the ICU, hanging on for life. Her blood pressure dropped very low and they said her kidneys were damaged from sepsis. They took her to surgery for her elbow and cut a giant hole in it and cleaned out a bunch of tissue. It has been left open to drain the infection. Sepsis causes tiny blood clots throughout the body, which cut off oxygen to organs and tissue. Many people don't survive sepsis and those who do often have long term effects. She's been having severe pain in both arms and numbness in her hands, which worries me considerably. It all has been quite shocking and extremely worrisome. I'm not sleeping well and have nightmares. I'm very close with my mom. She's been healthy until recently and is in her 50's. This all happened so suddenly. She's home now, but has a lot of pain in her arms and her hands are numb.. She's also getting radiation treatment every day; it's been a lot...
I apologize this is so long. On top of this, I'm having a problem with a college assignment that ironically comes at a very bad time. The assignment is to make a video about my childhood that will be played in class. I haven't been able to handle making a video about her with photos set to sentimental music. I started having severe panic attacks and sob every time I sit down to do it. I'm having a feeling like death. I can't explain it, but it's horrifying like empty, black void of being alone and I don't know what to do with myself. I haven't been able to complete it and the thought of it being played during class. I'm afraid I'll break down in front of the class sobbing. We've been told before by this professor that no matter what's going on in our personal life, we have to put on a happy face in the classroom, so me crying may be a problem.
I went to speak with my professor to let her know what was going on. I left feeling minimized. I was hoping to be given an alternative assignment, but I still have to do it. It was a stressful conversation, she was dismissive and cavalier saying things that were insensitive. She never said, I'm sorry to hear that and I hope your mom gets better soon. I'm not sure how to deal with this..doing the assignment under the circumstances is causing a lot of emotional distress and is causing me to have trauma related symptoms; it's triggering extreme anxiety.. I don't know what to do! Thank for reading all this!
to step aside w/the best help possible so that your grades will not suffer. you have excellent reason to take time away from school right now AND to have this time away NOT bring your grades down.
having to even take time to think about an assignment while spending this important time w/your parents, is way too much stress on you.
please do address a time out with your dean.
gentle hugs, it is good you are here with us, you are not alone, you've got us xo
I want to just talk about the assignment, what's going on with my family that's making it difficult to do it, and the options for how to handle it. I don't want it to become about me having an anxiety disorder or depression, which I'm getting treatment for. I'm thinking i will have to fill out my medical history and there will be questions about mental health background? I don't feel right lying, but I don't want under any circumstance my anxiety and depression diagnosis and treatment to be disclosed to my professors or the college.
I don't know how HIPAA works with a mental health counselor at a college and what they have to report to the college or can report to a professor?