Heh Heh. Whatever it takes to get through the ugly moment when we're tempted to self harm and throw in the towel. I love it.

I remember once thinking, Oh god, please let me end it all... and then I had this sudden vision of my one relative leaning over the casket and whispering in her nono-whisper, "Oh she looks so *fat*!" and somehow that jolted me right back out of the moment!

Deli, im so sorry that I offended you. I really don't take suicide lightly and I promise I'm not trying to make anyone feel upset or make fun of anything!
Suicide isn't a joke, but this post was. Although I was serious about us being here and I was serious that you poop when you die... Because you do..
Wait, okay, back up. I hope you don't feel upset about it. If you do, message me so we could talk?

I remember when my mother was falling into the dumps about her cancer, called me up to tell me she wasn't going to take treatment. At that time, all I could do was get her on the subject and push the envelope. My mother was strong willed, so these episodes seldom ever hit her. Well she had been married three times and divorced three times. So I got her into the conversation about, we had better get serious about making her plans. Before long she was crying from laughter, I had gone into great detail of how we should advertize now since cemetery lots were cheaper if you bought 2 instead of one and since she didn't want to be buried next to any of the ex's. Well My big know it all brother called me up and asked if I was crazy talking to her about taking an ad out for a cemetery companion. Just like a dating site would do, but this would be a final date where there of course would be no arguing involved for all eternity. I asked him how did she sound when she talked to him, he said she was laughing, I just hung up on him.

Sometimes levity helps. She was back in fight mode.

It's striking how people who seem to have lost all their will to fight for their lives will still surprise us. Like arguing over some family matter like that. I've seen it, too.

I have to admit, when I think about suicide I have actually tried to come up with ways to keep from defecating myself. I have came up with many different ways but none sounded in the least comfortable.

But more reasons could be:
Think of all the small things you have yet to see and witness
The puppies and kittens you have yet to feel
Stars you have yet to notice
Sounds of rain on a rooftop
People around you that care and love you