My friend that had COVID is home now and recovering.  My best friend with cancer passed yesterday. I didn't get to say good bye. I had tried calling her the last week and did not get a response. The last thing she said to me was that she loved me and to pray for her.  I also had my deposition today and they asked a lot of triggering questions about my traumas.  I received the text about my friends death in the middle of the deposition. I felt like I was going to lose it.

I had promised my friend that I would call her after the deposition and she's gone. She was my support and I was hers. She found me an attorney and has been part of my family for 40 years. I now have to have a second deposition because the attorneys decided that a single one was too long. I talked earlier about that awful all day medical appt they put me through. At least the doctor agrees with my side. My PTSD symptoms right now are triggered. Can't stop shaking and feel sick. Had a panic attack. I hurt so bad inside, but can't express emotion. I ended up harming myself. I called my husband, but he can't come home til later.... I have other friends contacting me asking what happened and I can't deal with it so I shut off my phone. I guess I just need some support and comfort.