hugs - I have been staying away from the news so I had not heard about it. I am glad talking about it helped.

It is *highly* triggering stuff. I advise totally avoiding it.

Seeing that really upset me, so I am currently not even trying to keep up on current events.

I think by the amount social media comments pouring in about this incident, it has triggered a great number of people. Yes, this is highly triggering stuff. I find it very uncomfortable to watch, and disturbing. It certainly unleashes a lot of emotions upon me.

Hugs my friend

Yeah, just posting about it here helped me right away. That video is in pretty heavy rotation in the culture right now. On the one hand, it's sensationalism on the part of the media. On the other hand, it may do some good to get a point across.

But as for a lot of us here, it's not necessary. So I hope anyone else at DS PTSD that may have seen it inadvertently like me gets the same relief I got from coming here to unburden myself about it.

Thanks for the relief your support just gave me, everybody. Once again, DS PTSD support really works. Again and again. So grateful, always.

...and she went on to marry him.

Stupid pro-sports scumbag.

That's the cherry on top of the ice cream in the whole thing, isn't it?

I think her defense of him triggered me more than the video itself. It put me bk in that place in my own mind. Where you take all the blame and try to show the world he's not a bad guy. I never consindered it before but between that and the weather I've had a week long migraine. Wonder how much of it is from that triggering. Thanks for sharing muji
Hugs

It is the victim blaming and jokes that I find so horrible, I have avoided the video so far. I grew up in a house where my father was physically abusive to my mother, but she stayed because of her religion and the whole Southern culture of standing by your man. I understand that it isn't as easy to leave as people say it is. I can only hope that with more community education and support of women in these situations, that more women will find the courage to leave their abusers.

Oh, lilyrising, I'm so glad you mentioned that Southern culture thing of standing by your man because my mom had that, too. Boy, do I know what you mean. It got really twisted in my house.

Yeah, I found out after he went to prison that my mom tried to take me and leave but she had no money and no place to live. Her parents told her she had made her choice and now she had to stay, and told her to go back. I adored my grandfather, but learning about him doing that makes me angry, especially because if my mother had left I wouldn't have had to endure what I did trying to protect her and my brother.

I despise the Stand by your man mentality, no matter where it is encountered....
It keeps too many too long in too much bad. Vice versa on stand by your woman.

Prayers we all find peace nd that this inspires both victims and abusers to seek help.

I'm glad that he's booted from the NFL.

Thanks leo for noting that sometimes its the other way too. My dad was too proud and didn't want to risk letting my mom raise us (courts were a bit harder for dads bk then) so he took soooo much crap and ended up in what I'd consider a stockholm syndrome himself. I have to say imo it would have been better to at least try to take us out of her circle of influence. But he did his best. And honestly I think mom needed dr care and medication but gotta make the best of the mess I've been dealt. Its still far far better than some peoples hands

After lots of violence in the home, my parents separated when I was in 8th grade. My dad went off to earn a master's degree at a university 3 hours away, and his getting busy there stopped the violence. My mom had to get a job as a receptionist in a doctor's office and money was tight.

But it was the most peaceful, happy time of my life. I got a paper route so I would have money for myself, and one summer I sent myself off to camp at my own expense.

Then my mom saw what a dead end her financial future was having no college education, and my dad graduated with his master's degree. They got back together, and their reunion brought out the absolute worst in each other. Not just toward each other, but toward everyone else in the family and beyond. Eventually, they were caught in a fraud scheme and thrown out of their business.

Those were the years of the worst violence ever. I know it's really important to save marriages and keep families together, but I think my parents' marriage was an exception to that general rule.

I don't think it's always important to save marriages and keep families together. The dissolution of a highly dysfunctional system can be better than keeping it going.

When my parents divorced it was such a shock, as if the sky had fallen. But it'was also a great relief to have my violent, abusive father out of the house, and I always said I was GLAD they divorced. Of course, after that they both were solely interested in their love lives and not interested in their children. But no scenario was going to be a good scenario.