I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been overwhelmed my PTSD symptoms 3 times in my life, and each time I had to spend a few days in the hospital. I just couldn't function. So I know what that feels like and I can say if it's that bad, just call 911 and go to the ER.

There's no shame in that, despite what people out in society say. They don't know PTSD. Sometimes we just can't make it on our own, and the hospital takes care of us.

On the upside, every time I came out of the hospital, I rebuilt a better life for myself. It's not a polyanna statement. It's true. I found after the storm passed that PTSD didn't totally define me. I hope you hang in there so you can feel what that's like. Much support to you.

I'm scared to go to the ER. I really don't want to be treated poorly.

I know that, too. 2 out of 3 times I was treated wonderfully, but the third time I got bad treatment. My psychiatrist was so ticked we had a court hearing about it in which he tore them a new one. Honestly, it was kind of cool to see him stick up for me fiercely like that.

What I learned is to go to the ER during peak business hours. That's when the best staff is on hand to help you, the real professionals. On weekends they have a skeleton crew on hand, and overnight on week nights, too.

So, for example, this being Sunday I'd hang on and call Monday morning. That's just me, from what I learned from my own 3 experiences, but only you know what's best for you.

I don't have any advice because I'm currently in the same consumed state );
But hang in there, I'm sure there are people who care about you,
& when you end your life, you cause a ripple effect that you probably can't even imagine.
Remember, someone loves you.

Hi Kasi. Welcome to the group. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. Sounds like you will fit right in. Pull up a chair and sit a spell.

Yes, the flashbacks, nightmares, etcetera, etceteri, can, indeed, consume you from the inside out. Ouch on top of ouch, iced with lies and delusions. . . Yucko bucko, it doth sucko.

The good news is that you are not alone with it and there is strength in numbers. The load is easier when shared and it is even possible to meet some amazing people and witness some breathtaking acts of courage you never would have met without the shared healing needs. I believe I have even witnessed living proof that miracles really do happen within my peer support network.

Welcome to our healing community, Kasi. May you find healing companionship here. Healing hopes.

Thanks all.. hospital isn't much of an option as I have a job to maintain and the reality of it is, I am alone in all of this.
I have nobody near me to support me.

Kasi, being alone in this? is something that many of understand. Even if there are people around we may never feel comfortable enough to share what we feel, what hurt, what invades our vision of life. Some may but we can't trust them to let it go...fear of once it falling out that it will just keep coming out and they will think we are mad. Well some things we have reasons for being "mad" about.
With doctors and therapist they only have the info we can give them to dx and if we are clear they have to take the best educated guess, based on what we gave them.
I can tell my therapist I don't sleep well, but also need to express the best way I can as to why, or the pill is a sleeping pill(which rarely work for me)
I found support and help here to give her the language to better assess me. It took awhile, but I think I am getting stronger.
I just passed my four year mark here in Feb., so none of this was instant. I also have a ways to go, since the path to here was a long one with few breaks.
Keep posting, keep asking,,,take giving up off the table,, is the best I can offer.
Support J.

I agree with Muji, going during day when full staff is there. Nighttime is the few on call and less selection...plus they maybe tired then too.

I’m so sorry to what you’re going through. Wish I could give you a hug. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. Putting an end to your life is not the answer to life’s problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. Please get some help right away. Have you tried contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline? They operate toll-free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Remember that you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You have caring people here and you can always come to us for support. Stay strong, friend. Sending hugs & prayers your way!

you're one of us now, that makes you not alone now. thanks for being here for me to say hi to. welcome hugs xo

Really, going to the ER and into the hospital is the best thing you can do for yourself. Don't you have a couple of sick days you can take? The Dr. at the hospital will write you an excuse in a manner in which will excuse you and not give up your "secret". It's worth it. I've lost count of the number of times I've been but I come out better every time. I learn something new every time. Your life is worth it.