Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've received so much support here in the last few days--an entire thread devoted to hugs for me!! It's fantastic.
So I feel really sheepish reporting here, then, that I'm going through a day of constant major flashbacks. But that's exactly why I want to report it. I'm not being triggered by things going against me! Things have gone my way, and yet I'm having these flashback attacks!
ARGH. In my life with PTSD, that's what bugs me the most. I can win a battle and solve problems PTSD poses me and STILL get the darn symptoms and have to fight through them as if I'd lost the battle to being with. Wow, is that unfair or what?
It's a source of depression for me if I don't nip it in the bud, because it's a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation that demoralizes me about caring to solve PTSD problems or not. But that's short term thinking, right? Even though I'm rewarded negatively in the short term for solving problems, I've got to do it for the long term gain, right?
It just is hard when the PTSD symptoms come on me no matter what I do.
I'm being triggered over and over, literally every few minutes. I'm keep up my public mask, but it makes me dissociated and distracted. I physically have trouble breathing in a flashback, so I end up gasping for breath, choking, and then coughing. Which I can mask as a cold coming on to the outside world, but I know better. I'm gasping for air in flashbacks, one step away from feeling like a full blown panic attack is coming. Since I have Chronic Kidney Disease, I can't take a prn med and have to use my therapy tools alone instead. Like coming here.
Anybody else ever have a day like this even though things in life have gone their way? To complain makes me embarrassed, but it's what's going on. It must be like the guilt women experience if they have post partum depression. A joyous event is followed by unexpected bad feelings. PTSD is always giving me unexpected feelings, that's for sure.
Does PTSD do that to anybody else?
So I feel really sheepish reporting here, then, that I'm going through a day of constant major flashbacks. But that's exactly why I want to report it. I'm not being triggered by things going against me! Things have gone my way, and yet I'm having these flashback attacks!
ARGH. In my life with PTSD, that's what bugs me the most. I can win a battle and solve problems PTSD poses me and STILL get the darn symptoms and have to fight through them as if I'd lost the battle to being with. Wow, is that unfair or what?
It's a source of depression for me if I don't nip it in the bud, because it's a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation that demoralizes me about caring to solve PTSD problems or not. But that's short term thinking, right? Even though I'm rewarded negatively in the short term for solving problems, I've got to do it for the long term gain, right?
It just is hard when the PTSD symptoms come on me no matter what I do.
I'm being triggered over and over, literally every few minutes. I'm keep up my public mask, but it makes me dissociated and distracted. I physically have trouble breathing in a flashback, so I end up gasping for breath, choking, and then coughing. Which I can mask as a cold coming on to the outside world, but I know better. I'm gasping for air in flashbacks, one step away from feeling like a full blown panic attack is coming. Since I have Chronic Kidney Disease, I can't take a prn med and have to use my therapy tools alone instead. Like coming here.
Anybody else ever have a day like this even though things in life have gone their way? To complain makes me embarrassed, but it's what's going on. It must be like the guilt women experience if they have post partum depression. A joyous event is followed by unexpected bad feelings. PTSD is always giving me unexpected feelings, that's for sure.
Does PTSD do that to anybody else?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Maybe just me and/or my over-active delusion factory. . .
For sure, don't go sheepish on us now. These weirdities are so much easier to sort when we keep our weirds on the table.
Gentle support while you sort, muji.
arfie and Lilly, I think it IS decompression--that makes sense. Since my lab result surprise last Thurs until the docs decided yesterday no dialysis though, I was under stress. Even though the decision went my way, I have to process that stress. It just makes sense.
cheesecake, it sounds like you're going through your own version of the very same thing I was talking about here. You get a good result, but you're shaken up by the energy the whole episode took anyway. Thank you so much for reporting that. I'm sorry it happened to you, too, but on the other hand I'm always healed by knowing I'm not the only one and that we can deal with things together. What a relief.
I was kicking myself and feeling like a jerk for even having these feelings, like I was some kind of spoiled brat who was ungrateful things had worked out in my favor. But I still had that shaky feeling cheesecake talked about and couldn't deny it, an aftermath like Lilly and arfie pointed out as decompression. I'm going to let myself decompress, then, thankfully.
After you decompress from the med stress. . .
Heal well.