Glad you found out about the PTSD, and that you have a support group. Sorry thaat things happened to you to cause it. It WILL get better. May God bless your day.

O am glad you have an answer though it is a tough one, but not impossible to improve on. Also later, much later...you may find that because of this you also have gifts that develop just because you understand more.
You can have more empathy, compassion, kindness and openness to others afraid to speak.
Many may scoff at these as "gifts" but I see it here everyday in the support given each other, the compassion to try and lift someones mood, and the empathy of being understood. Even you have been using these gifts and kindness as I read. I don't always comment, but I do read,.
Hugs, Official welcome to our family of friends.
J.
PS you find I am not the greatest typist but my heart makes up the difference. As each here has their strengths known and undiscovered strengths to reach each other.

listen to jewells1. she is overflowing with support. i'd be easily 2x more unhappy right now had she not commented on my sad posts. you are now at a point where you can do even more work to move yourself into a better place. there are lots of people around here who will support you. if i don't happen to be around at any given time, you can always feel free to message me. see you around. ok?

@Gladdmatt, I'm glad I finally got some answers. And its ok. God bless you too.
@jewells1, Thank you so much for your advice and support. Hugs. And you are a fine typist LOL
@extraterrestrialone, I will definitely listen to her. She is very supportive. I'm very lucky to have people to support me in my life. I now know I'll always have someone to talk to about my situation.
Thank you all for the amazing advice and support!