I haven't heard of it....but it makes sense.

I haven't the slightest idea if you can get through it on your own.

Have you talked to your doctor about it? That's probably where I'd start. I don't know if you're on any medications/supplements, but some of them can have quirky side affects.

In any case, I wish you the best in figuring this out, Patti

Sexual aversion disorder is not thought to have any commonplace underlying physiological causes. The usual treatment is a course of psychotherapy for the psychological condition(s) that may be causing the problem. Marriage counseling, or couples counseling , is often appropriate if the disorder concerns a spouse. Hope this helps I’m looking more into this disorder

My last relationship was with a fiancee who decided I was "lazy" when I really found out that I had lost 60% of my kidney function to chronic kidney disease. She had the home we'd bought to live in married put up for sale and put me in the street in bad shape.

Needless to say, I've had sexual aversion disorder ever since. It's been 7 years now. I don't mean to minimize its consequences for other people, but to be honest these years without such complications have been the most peaceful for me and my personal growth. I came here, for one thing, and learned a lot.

Sex is an important part of life, but I'm finding it's not quite the driving force Freud thought it was. As far as schools of psychiatry go, I'm more with Dr. Frankl, Freud's disciple, who amended Freud's theory to say that meaning, not sex, is our truly driving force.

If sex has meaning, then aversion to it is certainly a disorder. But not engaging in it can also be just a meaningful choice, too.

Though I could be wrong.

There may be a lot of reasons listed in the DMV, but you mentioned drinking history.I could see it happening the way you describe if when drinking a person engaged in promiscuous behavior thinking this is what "love" looks like. When when the gates are changed by not drinking the memories literally disgusts them.
That is not addressed in the DMV. But some people that were sexually abused as children, groomed to accept that as defining "love" may go through promiscuity especially under the influence of drugs or alcohol when their rational guards are down.
Some reading that may help with question with your therapist.

Keep what works and file the rest.
J.



http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Sexual-aversion-disorder.html

http://pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2017/09/childhood-sexual-abuse-ptsd-and-promiscuity

You're not alone. Even seeing two people being intimate, kissing, holding hands disgusts me. Like you, I dont want anyone touching me. Even a hand shake pat on the back. I don't ever want to be in a relationship again.

I FEEL you. PDA has always been kinda gross and honestly just fucking rude to me, when I see it. I don't mind being touched but any kind of intimate touching (grazing fingers, little kisses) can really put me in a bad space. Before I decided that I want to still be celibate this year, at the very last few days of last year (2018) I got a bit intimate with a guy. Honestly, him touching me was okay, I was naked and feeling goood. But as soon as he took off his shirt, I started to feel clammy, and then when he unbottoned his pants slowly started a panic attack. By the time his pants were off and he was in just his boxers, I was so scared and anxiety ridden, it was only a few minutes before I started to disassociate and went into an attack and started crying. That was before I found this disorder. But that was the night I decided to continue being celibate even from intimacy, not just intercourse. I don't know if I will ever be able to be with a man again.

I have been celibate for 12 years. Don't crave it, don't miss it. Feel totally asexual. Honestly, I'm fine with it. I am very careful to not send any signals otherwise to members of the opposite sex. It's second nature now. I enjoy intellectual conversation with men but that's as far as it goes. They seem to be ok with it too. My best friends are men. It's been liberating for me.

Thanks, Strength, for being will to say tell your story. With 12 years celibate, you've been celibate a lot longer than my 7 years. I'm glad you can say "Honestly, I'm fine with it."' I am, too, but I haven't talked about it much because
a) I don't want people to think I'm judging anyone who is sexually active, and
b) I don't want anybody to think I'm repressing my own feelings or needs.

It's just happened as, for the first time in my life, I've given other things more priority, things like coming here and spending time instead of what I used to do dating. It wasn't a conscious decision, and since it wasn't that means I can date again any time I want to, I didn't take any celibacy vows or anything.

It's just that I hadn't been out of a relationship since I was age 14, and at 52 I started to want "me" time for my own personal growth. Having to change my lifestyle to cope with chronic kidney disease (CKD) gave me a chance to have that personal growth time be my silver lining while having to cope with CKD.

In going for personal growth, I realized I wanted to work on my PTSD and joined this support group. I wouldn't have made the time for it before when I was dating.

Like you, Strength, it's turned out that I've gained a lot of friends of the opposite sex, something that's been liberating for me, too.

When I had sex with my husband, it wasn't just sex, I bonded with him into that deep intimacy. So, after 20 years of marriage he abandoned me, and all that we had. It was such a horrifying experience of psychological, traumatic and physical illness, I never want to be touched again. I am terrified of the intimate bonding that sex fulfills, and the decades of recovery it takes to begin to have a life again.

I stay free of dating and everything else that can terrify me. Now, my life is safe, bland, and I feel like one quarter of a person. It has been 30 years since my life fell apart, and I am tougher and wiser, but not healed by any means. I hate my single life style, and the state of being single in this harsh world.

I managed to finish rearing our 3 children alone and without support. I am happy to say that they are safely into the primes of their lives, living happy successful lives. I was finally able to scrape a life together for myself after they left - in which every day is a struggle with managing PTSD, where being alone, in chronic pain, and chronic exhaustion are still all part of a trauma that will not heal. My entire life is spent "managing" the abandonments, losses, and chronic PTSD, and this is no life for me.

So sorry life is safe but bland for you, urbanmusicgal. I'm glad you finished rearing your 3 children all on your own and they're safe and successful. I wish your chronic pain would give you a break now, I know what such chronic pain is like myself since I have that type of PTSD known as Complex PTSD or CPTSD.

When I came to DS PTSD some members here introduced me to therapist Pete Walker and his resources, both online and in his book. It really helped me with my past trauma, my chronic present, and even the blandness in safety now. So I'm just passing on his link they gave me.

http://pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html