Keep venting, and sorting, AngelaJo. Your answers are in there.

Hope healing happens here.

Good one. It reminds me. I'm stuck here at home recovering from surgery, but I'm lucky because it's given me time to watch a show on Netflix that just happened to drop this week. It's a tape of Springsteen on Broadway, the show he did last year where he explained the meaning behind the poetry of the lyrics to his songs. Here's one I've actually lived in the flesh.

"Some folks are born into a good life
And other folks get it anyway anyhow
Yeah and I lost my money and I lost my wife
Them things don't seem to matter much to me now

Tonight I'll be on that hill `cause I can't stop
I'll be on that hill with everything I got
With our lives on the line where dreams are found and lost
I'll be there on time and I'll pay the cost

For wanting things that can only be found
In the darkness on the edge of town
In the darkness on the edge of town"

I've lost two wives and a fiancee every time my PTSD symptoms came back strong. I went bankrupt in my second divorce, so I've been to that darkness on the edge of town with nobody to trust and nothing left several times. In fact, you could say that's where I make my home now, that's where I live every day.

It turns out it's not such a bad place, that the darkness is just another part of life, at least concerning life as I know it with PTSD from my war child upbringing overseas. It's a part of me just as much as any happy childhood memories of Christmas morning are a part of me, too. I can't cut out one part of my memory and keep another. It's all one, intertwined in my head, as is the human condition.

So poet and singer Leonard Cohen's words resonate with me in one of the last records he made before he died a few years ago. He wrote a song called "The Darkness" in which he said:

"I caught the darkness, it was drinking from your cup
I caught the darkness drinking from your cup
I said is this contagious?
You said just drink it up."

What are you going to do, right? Just drink it up.

Keep writing those poems, AngelaJo. Thanks for posting them!

Thank you both for your replies, always helps when people reply to my posts :)

My therapist told me today never stop writing she thinks thats how i get my feelings and stress out the most. She said that she can tell how much it helps me even though therapy takes so much out of me. Its been a hard day had therapy today well technically yesterday its 1 am. I slept 3 hours and then woke up from pain UGH. She said i have healed so much already and just to imagine where i will be once were done. I shared part of the book im writing with her im writing it as a novel. I may share part on here in another post.

I know of a member here who has published two books of poetry AngelaJo. (It's not me). So keep writing, it's a real thing you're doing!

Thanks thats encouraging!

good poem.

Thank you!