Exactly.
I don't have any support, therapist, family nothing outside here....Sometimes you just have to talk it, write about it, vent....and my God all you need is a little validation...

Someone that seems to be on yor side...
I had a long time boyfriend before.We had a lot of probs because of my incest issues so we stopped having sex but remained friends cause he was very validating....

If i came home angry someone had put me down he would not say much other than "would you like me to go kick their ass?".....Tha was enough ..i would say "no"....But i knew someone belived me.It was someone on MY side.

Someone when we come here feeling horrible we don't need lectures or this and that..just someone that says...I understand i've been there...or share their experience or even what they do...

But outside of here people offer you their unsolicited advice....when all you need is someone on your side for a change.

I meant sometimes when we come here...

JEN, you are unbelievable. I felt that total sense of anxiety of PTSD just reading your example. I am going to tell my therapist that. She unerstands but I want her to "get it." You are a wise woman...

great way to explain it I still live with that inner child who still wont go to the doc for that shot and still acts like that good analogy,, all who have no family ,,, including me ,, the spiriits provided this place we may not know the folks in real life but it is connection support,, it is a place to be heard , So in a way with the hundreds of people on DS I would imagine this is a gift for those of us who are orphans hugs to all bmw

51% is right. As you say, Dracona, you don't have family support. Neither do many of us here, especially those of us who had family abusers who gave us PTSD in the first place. So the general public becomes those with whom you share your lessons in PTSD recovery. That has to be not just a service for them, but also supportive for you. It will be supportive for you in a healthy way as you train yourself to do it with transparency and not manipulating anyone to be sympathetic. Just being real. You can do it.

Some people don't ever understand, true. But some people understand when it's explained to them. And it's ironic, but those people are often specifically not going to be those closest to us. Simply because they can be more objective as to what they hear us saying. I've found that to be true with my own college classes when I teach nursing students about PTSD. I know it can happen with you in your discipline of psychiatry.

That is a very good way to explain it, I will use that one next time someone wants to listen. This post was just a little rant. about posting on another forum where I was slightly attacked about my mothering concerns and the way i presented the topic. i was just a little thrown off, because honestly, when im on a support site, i kinda expect to give and receive support, not badgering. I know that if there is something someone is posting about that i do not want to hear or be part of, i simply dont respond. i dont know them. i dont know whats going on in their life. and its none of my business and i dont want to make things worse for them by me giving my negative opinion. so i dont. i forgot that other people DO feel the need to put others down.

unomas... I totally get the validation thing. its like i can start having alot of anxiety about feeling invalidated and someone just has to do or say something that makes me feel like they are on my side, or that i am even the slightest bit important, and it quells that fire some.

Im not too horrible at explaining what PTSD is and why. but i also understand that though people may know what it is, understand how it works, they will never truly understand what it is to have it and live it.

Unless you have PTSD, you're right, most people don't get it. Even those who do have PTSD, don't really get it ourselves.

Yes, they don't understand a lot of times. You can explain PTSD to a friend or someone over and over, 100 different ways, but if they don't get it, they don't. Not everyone can. They may try to be supportive, or think they are, but not understand when you react a certain way to something, or are in a depressed mood. Then there's a fight, when you need it the least. It does get frustrating. So I'm totally in favor of a community of us supporting each other when we need it. I know I need it.

You're right Dracona, people just don't understand. When I explain to my husband a panic attack, or the fears I face just going to the grocery store, or the sheer heart attack terror of getting on a plane (even though he reminds me that I've flown countless times in the past...before my all out introduction to PTSD) all he can say is "I can't imagine what you're feeling when you're feeling like this".....he's absolutely right, unless you live it....you could never understand it. It sucks.

Yes, It is good to get all out. Sorry you do not have the support where you are. I have learned since remembering . I did not have support as a kids. I did not remember my abuse but I knew I had something wrong. I went everywhere to find help. Some in all the wrong places. Some of it was planned as I know now, not by me. Very heartbreaking. This website has been a real help. I get a place to express myself. I am in a safe place and now remembering. I am an adult I believe the Lord moved us so I could remember. So I know what you mean when no support. I have it now but I am healing and trusting God will help me heal and such. I would at times do things that are fun to get your mind off the abuse. Things that make you happy . Post Tramatic Stress it is good to do things you love to do . My husband and went out and bought a happy meal. We got crayons and colored. Took a walk and skipped. I bought a book about horses and such. I had a blast. I am writing on here and writing in a journal. I have a book by TD jakes woman thou art loosed. I am now reading courage to heal. I do not agree. with everything in the books but they are very insightful of what you can do to heal. I am a born again believer and find reading my bible and remembering Gods promises. It is very helpful to find things that make you happy. I never had a real childhood. at all. So I am healing a hurt little girl. I will pray for you that you can get the support you need. Even if it is here. We are pulling for you. If you go to the doctors you state you have ptsd they will be more understanding . They are to me. If they are your friends they will try to understand. Take care and lots of prayers to you.

51 percent, thank you, It does get hard to explain. Mom, used make me go get belt, go get chair etc, this was a build up, i was so small barely able to move chair... I got spanked a lot for telling, the spanking was for"lying" , Plus being the middle child... I took the flack from both ends. the rope/scapegoat in a tug of war..then turned on.
Dracona, I love Halloween, slipping into the costume (morn) and makeup and spending the day out, hiding in plain sight ,even still do it. Thought about doing an ugly scar across my face , really give them something to stare at.

I know what you mean, Dracona. I had a meltdown recently, and I tried talking to someone about it, and they just didn't want to deal with my issue. It feels lonely sometimes when it happens. I was triggered that day, and I understand why it happened. It sucks that I couldn't be stronger and hold it in.

I just had a short road trip with my old college roommate (class of 1979, so years ago) and caught up. Turns out his wife just got diagnosed with PTSD! I'm sorry for her, but glad we can connect. Memories surfaced for her of sexual abuse as a child--something that rings true for so many of us here. So it turned into a profound friendship weekend of sharing beyond the usual. Great time.

Just when you feel isolated and that people out there don't understand, someone out there reaches out from the past and asks YOU to understand THEM. Puts things is a new, more hopeful perspective. Even when he was my roommate, I hid my flashbacks and panic attacks from PTSD from him fearing he wouldn't understand. Now seeing how he cares for his wife and her symptoms and came to me for help, I see, happily, how wrong I was. I've suffered the PTSD stigma several times, at work and even at church. So it's a noteworthy gift and a victory to share when it goes the right way, too.

Muji

More on this topic, i just recently kinda lost an old friend. she was selling visalus shakes, and i bought some from her. i made it clear that i did NOT want to be in any 90 day challenge, that I was doing it to help her business and try them out to see if they worked for me or if i even liked them. apparently she signed me up for the challenge, which automatically debits money from your bank account at the end of the month. well, it was a BAD time to have that money come out for 109 dollars! it triggered me, freaked me out.. i called my friend like what did you do? i did not know that this would happen, she says she told me about it, to which i have absolutely no memory of, and if she did tell me, it was brief and she didnt make it clear. I said i needed my money back NOW. it was 3 weeks ago, i still havent gotten my money back, though they said they processed the refund. I did not curse her out, but i was very upset. she didnt understand how a hundred dollars could hurt me so much, and it was MY fault that i didnt like her product for not following the program completely. She said i have too many mood swings or issues for her... just UGH. its so frustrating. I HATE PTSD!!!

Damn that Visalus, I fell into the same trap, even though I specified up front that I did NOT want auto delivery on this, just a one time try and THEN I will decide if I want to continue....they got me too. I don't think it has anything to do with PTSD, but I know the stress of having to tell the friend who (apparently) misunderstood from the beginning....I'm not good with confrontation and I tend to want to hide.