Yes you are! If someone confides in me and they need my support because their problems are so great, then I am hear to listen and if they want advise or opinion I will give it.. I think there are many more like me. Human beings need other human beings.. don't let someone take advantage of your good nature.. I'm not completely understanding the pass the buck part . But I come here with problems and Gosh I hope someone doesn't just pass me over. Leaving me helpless and lonely.... What do you think ladydi1961?

I am TRYING! It's so hard. How are you able to do this?

I had an issue this morning with someone that has been affecting me all day. He was clearly someone who was very insecure and controlling. He dealt with his issues by acting very arrogant, cocky, and condescending. Unfortunately, I was the one he projected that onto. I am a very calm, nice person, so I'm not the type that will start yelling or arguing. I calmly tried to explain something (something I happen to be an expert on) to him. He wanted to talk down to me. Had that "girls can't possibly know anything about this man stuff" type attitude. I am an expert in this area on this topic, not many people know as much as I do about it, and he kept talking down to me and wanting to argue with me yet had nothing to back his story up. I had all the proof and scientific evidence and all the experts on my side. But this guy then literally patted me on the arm and said in a very condescending tone, like he was talking to a 5 yr old, that I can come to him for help once I stop believing what I and all the experts on this topic know. I mean it was ridiculous. I haven't dealt w/ anyone that arrogant in a long time. And I was asking him his professional opinion for a possible job. Meaning, I was a potential client. So he threw any chance he had of getting the job by having that attitude.

But anyway, this happens to me a lot. Especially since my interests and expertise are in areas that are predominantly male. So it's bad enough (with my abuse history) that I attract so many insecure/controlling men. But on top of it, I really feel like I trigger their insecurity issues even more, being a woman who knows more than them on these topics most of the time. So I am often confronted by men who want to argue w/ me when I am clearly more educated on the topic they choose to argue. And I don't know how to deal with it. I want to learn how to handle it in an effective and healthy manner but I don't know what that would be. It ends up triggering me for days when it happens.

you'd have to clarify `passing the buck'

i love helping others and supporting others as best i can, and i don't mind being a sympathetic ear, because the next time around it might be me that neads it.

I don't know if i'm a little callous or just extremlly independent...

I'm a very good ear because i do not get affected by others probs or feel that i got to fix them or anything.If i can help i do but i also don't feel like is my job.................Unless you're talking about when people are mean to you because their own probs that i can not tell and i'm very sensitive............Is that what you are talking about??

BT is not that i don't care when people tell me their probs i do very much.....i have a lot of empathy..

WHAT I MEAN OF PASSING THE BUCK ===WHEN A PERSON CAN NOT OR WON'T TAKE THE RESPONSIBILIES OF THEIR OF BEHAVIOR. THEY BLAME THE OTHER PERSON.

i HAVE A FRIEND WHO WAS PASSING ON SOMETHING TO BE THAT WAS NOT EVEN MY PROBLEM WHICH I TRIED TO GIVE BACK PLUS TRY TO LET IT GO,

LADYDI1961

I understand what you mean Lady. I am a magnet for people who can't take responsibilities and/or have absolutely no self-awareness of their issues. I am the one they choose to project these issues onto all of the time. I know it has something to do w/ my calm, quiet demeanor. I don't know how to deal with these people and how to react when they start their crap w/ me. Let me know how you handle it. I am interested in figuring this out.

OK...NO NEED TO YELL AT ME. haha.
yeah, that bites.

Sorry, some of us weren't sure what you meant. So give it back to her , tell her /him it's too much for you right now and move on. that is what I meant about ppl taking advantage. Sorry no can do!.