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This past weekend felt like a Paradigm Shift between my husband and myself. Possibly for his entire family, but I do not know the people behind the status consciousness of his family well enough to speculate with confidence. Gift wrapped events are all we ever shared before this weekend. With my husband, our 34 year relationship is considerably deeper. I feel much more confident that something has changed.
Today finds me on a new set of thought loops, but still racing conjectural loops. How I think it should proceed from here... What I think we could do with the new precedent... Where I think IT would go IF... Declarations based on the power of my personal crystal ball.
Praying for the strength to let it evolve of its own accord.
Today finds me on a new set of thought loops, but still racing conjectural loops. How I think it should proceed from here... What I think we could do with the new precedent... Where I think IT would go IF... Declarations based on the power of my personal crystal ball.
Praying for the strength to let it evolve of its own accord.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Letting things like that evolve on their own, without trying to shape or schedule or plan? Big challenge in my 21 years of marriage. Sometimes the hardest part really is just.... letting... it... go....
Hugs,
Leo
But the changes in the "Paradigm shift', may just be realization of mortality. The husband is the fathers last son, because mentally he has already lost his other. Huntington's is not a take a pill and come back next month, year(s) or forever, it is finite. Your husband is and will lose those close to him, by age or disease, the same with FIL. You are his wife still, maybe more precious because of the future. FIL has a daughter (in law) in you even if the past was stifling, he too is counting heads. These are hard realities, harder to describe. But that when it was known that John was ..finite, his sisters who had not come to see him, came. Cried harder than I did, after a 20 year absence.
What happens now is really up to you, I feel they both the husband and fathers are reaching farther towards you...will you reach back?
However this works out for you, my heart.