Good Morning, Friends, and Happy Father's Day to all the Daddys!

The sky is a deep, dark grey, with just a slice of pearl over the palms in Himmarsee Village. Seems to fit my mood perfectly. Today I sent an email to my beloved daughter, Vena, confronting the issues that lie between us, rather than allowing them to continue to take up so much space being the Elephant in my small room.

She is holding my heart hostage, threatening to abandon me, the way her brother did sixteen years ago. After many suicide attempts because of my son, Arion's, rejection, I finally determined that my life must have some purpose other than being a mother. Although I have experienced significant success in my creative careers- as a fashion designer, advertising agency owner/creative director, musician/singer,- and other careers as well: sailboat Captain, gourmet chef aboard Caribbean Charter yachts, undercover investigator- still nothing mattered so much to me as being a mother.

When I divorced my husband 32 years ago, after a 20-year marriage, no one thought my children and I would live through it. But I kept us safe, and continued to provide my children with the education and opportunities they needed to succeed in this world. They are now both very successful. But they blame me for their father's drug problems and ultimately his death. They have demonized me.

Until now, I willing to go along with whatever "terms of engagement" my daughter insisted upon:

1) Don't call me

2) Don't text me too often

3) Don't contact me on weekends

4) Never talk about the past!

5) Never ask about my brother!

We were supposed to get together on Mother's Day to go to brunch and for her to show me her new $150,000 condo. Instead, I got drunk the night before and bailed on her. Naturally, she is playing the "victim" card now, and won't speak to me. She says to wait until she is ready to deal with me.

This morning I decided to write her an email and let her know exactly how I am feeling. This may give her the "hard evidence" she needs to disown me as her mother- but I am tired of being her scapegoat. Mother's Day seemed as good a day as any for a reckoning. 

It takes so much courage to stand up for your own "Bill of Rights!"