Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
It's a constant process, trying to find that balance between good stress in my life that keeps me feeling useful, purposeful and functional vs. that bad stress that triggers me and can even put me back in the hospital. So I'm asking for help from you with that, people who know what that's like from experience.
I'm back from Spring Break now at work in my little community college teaching job. I'm so glad I was able to work again after my PTSD crash in 2010-2011 took me out of the work force for a while. I have close friends here who are on disability, and I know that's a very real possibility for me, too. I almost went on total disability in 2011 myself. But we gave full time work another try, and it wasn't time for that yet. Not quite.
8 more weeks and I finish another school year. I'm always having to ration my energy carefully. Daily flashbacks, trouble sleeping, and all of my other PTSD symptoms that take each day's energy from work have to be accounted for in setting my work pace day by day.
I have a calendar on my fridge where I mark the days off one at a time. That way I try to remember the "Goldilocks" rule--not to let my porridge, as it were, be too cold or too hot.
How do you all pace yourselves? What tricks have you developed, like marking off days on the fridge and so forth? Any help is welcomed.
I'm back from Spring Break now at work in my little community college teaching job. I'm so glad I was able to work again after my PTSD crash in 2010-2011 took me out of the work force for a while. I have close friends here who are on disability, and I know that's a very real possibility for me, too. I almost went on total disability in 2011 myself. But we gave full time work another try, and it wasn't time for that yet. Not quite.
8 more weeks and I finish another school year. I'm always having to ration my energy carefully. Daily flashbacks, trouble sleeping, and all of my other PTSD symptoms that take each day's energy from work have to be accounted for in setting my work pace day by day.
I have a calendar on my fridge where I mark the days off one at a time. That way I try to remember the "Goldilocks" rule--not to let my porridge, as it were, be too cold or too hot.
How do you all pace yourselves? What tricks have you developed, like marking off days on the fridge and so forth? Any help is welcomed.
As for you, Muji, you inspire me. This week I have seen you open more on things that I have not seen before. Just as I face things that can tumble me, you show me how it's done.
Steadily facing them , asking for help when needed, and supporting when you are empathetic in your knowledge of others situations. Sharing how you continually work on you.
J.
I take my ipad with me, and do whatever I need to do.. play music that suits the mood, games to fill time, take notes, whatever.
I take naps, or do relaxation techniques and things to get the adrenaling down.
I have little slogans up on my fridge and around, like "Do Your Best and God Does the Rest", and the Desiderata.
I do biofeedback also to keep the adrenalin down..
The one thing that has improved is the fact that I now can work and be functional even when I am in the middle of a trigger from PTSD. A couple of years I could not do that.
A couple of years ago when in the middle of a PTSD trigger I would recoil to the point of being out of commission for weeks. Debilitating headaches that would not let me leave my bedroom for weeks, sleeping for days with my brain trying to recuperate.
Now, I do work through the triggers but that does not mean less pain, it just means different pain.
You will see me working, but inside I am recoiling. I will get my tasks done, but on the inside I am all closed up. I guess it is a protection device of my own system to protect myself from overload because I am already working through triggers and then when I do that I don't need anything or anyone from the outside world to intrude into my life when I am already weakened because of the PTSD.
Also, the therapy for a PTSD person is just as painful. Painful to the point where you often wonder if you should go on. Painful to the point where you want to quit therapy many many times.
Really, I do not know the answer to the one thing that could possibly make PTSD better, not anything that I would be capable of doing.
I know that I hate this disease, I hate it with a passion and it is unfair to have gotten this disease from a sex crazed monster that tried to get me into bed. There, I said it.
You inspire me, too.
My biggest issue is partly also the physical exhaustion so I am blessed i work part-time from home and can just nap whenever... but I did yoga for 15 years and am very used to "hearing" my body, so when it's telling me "tension" or "tired", I sometimes just take two minutes by the clock to do a breathing exercise. Sounds weird but at hubby's last job, he'd do that in the men's room when he was about to lose his cool (he had a rabid ferret for a boss) and he got into the habit of doing it hourly. So now I am trying it. To sort of "re-set" my mind every hour to "calmer". But I have a long list of stuff to do with therapy and I don't always remember. *sigh*
No idea if that was an answer. Sorry. Slept little.
the concept of `pacing' is very interesting, and i'll have to give this further thought.
keep on keeping on muj. you're doing great, and you ARE an inspiration to a heck of a lot of us.
Jewells, I appreciate your talking about being steady, because I know you're being steady through your college semester, too.
Pampas, your mention of pain made me wonder to myself something I'll share with others: has anyone ever given acupuncture a try? I have neuropathy now, and it was painful this past weekend to the point that I thought about trying something new.
xa1n, you affirm the things that do work for me, especially music and naps. I just worked on downloading new songs to my iPod last week, and made new playlists that would support me. I also put slogans on my fridge, too, like you. My latest is "pessimism never won a battle."
Leo, again inspiration? Again, you're so kind. I like that breathing thing. It's worked for me in the past, and I need to return to it, especially at work, when being tired can make me irritable. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I got a bad schedule this semester in which I teach back to back classes with only 15 minutes breaks between them. But I can make those count by going to the restroom, getting in a stall, and breathing like you describe your hubby has done. Thanks for that one.
Lilly, you're kind to say I'm something else. Working on my living space like you're doing is something I can do to help me relax and regenerate at home. New pillows for my big leather couch I take naps on to reboot from PTSD tiredness, maybe? I'm so glad I gave myself the give of that huge overstuffed couch. Like the deck of the Calypso!
One thing I did because of opening up here about being tired was different. I trusted my boss to mention it to her today, and to tell her my neuropathy's spread this week to my right hand for the first time. For just an afternoon last week, I couldn't grip a pen to write with, so it wasn't that bad, but it was an indicator of an advance in that condition.
Anyway, I'm glad I shared that rather than fear the stigma of being labeled a weak old guy. She took it well. As I mentioned starting this thread, we have only 8 more weeks to go in this school year, and I haven't been late to class or absent except a day when I had the flu last Fall.
Your tips really help, and I find when I open up here, I can often open up in my face to face world and solve problems there, too, rather than be hard on myself. Thank you all. You're the best!
I realize that PTSD takes various percentages of my energy - one day 30%, another 70% - and every time I invest time and energy into healing, I'm one step closer to being better.
Investing in therapy or other healing is also a good use of my energy but I need to be sure to have the rest of the day off when I go so I can rest and process.
I also avoid (as much as possible) triggers. Even those I may be drawn to - like a tv show or something. I remind myself to do something different.
I think of things that help me feel stronger like meditation and yoga - and invest my energy in that.
Sometimes something will feel soothing but it's actually triggering me on a physical level - like sugar or coffee. So I try to opt for tea or healthier food options. I do love my French Fries though and think that once in a while they can actually help me feel better.
I also like to have at least two days off each week with absolutely nothing scheduled. If I feel up to it, I can do whatever I like. If I feel overwhelmed, I can take that time to rest.
Planning ahead helps a lot too. That way I feel prepared for things and I wind up feeling less triggered.
Hugs
J.
I have an opportunity for full time employment, but I fear I'll overdo it and my body and mind will suffer, as has happened in the past. So many have suggested I push through getting on disability. But when I ask for help for transportation, etc., I fail at finding reliable help.
I have been pondering this for some time. I get so discouraged. I done want to leave someone hanging if I should have a bad spell. I want to work when capable. Thing is, I go at it full boar and crash.
But I'm glad for what I've got going for now. Disability application, on the other hand, is a nightmare process. My grandfather got it, ironically, as a cheater. He faked a disability and got away with it. Me, I might actually need it down the line, and would most likely be denied, on the other hand. Like I said, irony.
Yes, herashr, it's awesome just to be in the present about this. For now I'm able to do the work, and thanks for saying that I'm inspiring, too; the work inspires me. Today I had 2 inspiring moments. An African American male student popped in to talk to me between classes and opened up about some symptoms he's having. I think he's warming up to letting me know he's something like bipolar and sees me as a safe teacher to talk to.
Then I had a great after school talk with an African American female student who told me about her dreams for her future career and asked me for a letter of recommendation. She inspired me big time. So day by day, as you say. The future is now, right?
Lilly, glad you liked the acupuncture experience for neuropathy. Dumb question: is there any way in the world it is ever covered by medical insurance? (I know, naive question. You can laugh. Just thought I'd ask in case, though).
Hugs,
muji
Thanks for the medical insurance tip on acupuncture coverage. It gives me hope. I thought it was dumb even to consider it, but it looks like it could be. I'd love to have some neuropathy relief.
Purrs,
Leo