Was it a Bruce Springsteen concert? Do not go leaving out important details!

Well, even if it was the over-trained crowd, that is still a tasty triumph. Do that do!

To this day, I cannot stand in the center of a crowd. Even in churches and classrooms, my instinct craves a clear and tested escape route. Sometime I force myself to sit far from exits, just for the therapy value. Been a long time since I've attended a concert, but I suspect I would still need the comfort of staying on the edge of the crowd, ever aware of the escape routes.

Go muji! Thanks for sharing the good stuff!

wow!!! muji, that is fantastic!!!

i am truly worried about the slide i'm taking to being a full-on hermit, and it scares me. it's SO EASY to just tune out the outside world, so i admire the steps you've taken here.

was it a springsteen concert?

this is great mujica

at first i had lingering agoraphobia, i was able to do almost everything excepet driving, i dont really know what is cause of my agoraphobia because i have mixed anxieties and depression plus ptsd, and some of paranoya about safety, i still have to take medication

then i went into severe agoraphobia which put me homebound for i think more than a year, i havent be able even to get out of house myself

i havent be myself like you i live with my family but they couldnt help me there, i started my own exposure i think a year ago, i was so scared and thought i will go into panic attack, crossing street was major problem, i thought every second i will pass out, at that time i forced myself, i didnt care will something happen or not and at first i had panic attacks during the walk, i couldnt stand anymore not being able to get out, i was in a way if something has to happen then let it be now, some drastic thinking here

and when i started i didnt allow myself any excuse i put there timing and i had to get out at the time i put it on my exposure and do as i can, it was small steps at first then i get it more

it felt same like you, like a sentece at times, free to go out but with agoraphobia you lose that feeling of free, and my house didnt feel for me anymore safe or place of comfort, i had same fear in the house and through exposure i realized that nothing of what i thought really happened just panic attacks that i was able to get through

breaking agoraphobia feels like freeing yourself, i went and i do go myself to IHOP restaurant which is close to me, im not much social one either, it feels great, no way that i would go there myself a year ago, i couldnt go to stores, not enywere with or without crowd

keep up all of us, it takes effort and persistance but feeling after is something like im free, i can make it, it is such emporwering feeling about self

to break agoraphobia was the hardest one for me to do it, i still work it on, and here we are on our own, nobody can do it for us, we can be supported and encouraged but real work is on us

for now im okay with IHOP, and stores and walking around in a time i might go to some concert too, but not now

and for those who cant or just started to do steps, work it on at your own pace and as you can, the after feeling is so worth it

That is a huge accomplishment! You are very brave. I was proud of myself because I went shoe shopping this weekend and didn't freak out in the store, but I can totally relate to the exhausted feeling afterwards! Today, I brought my little girl with me to the grocery store and that helped a lot with the panic and made it less intense-but a concert? alone? that is huge!!!!!

congrats

"I went home exhausted. I don't hate people. It's that I'm a huge PTSD scanner. I scan the crowd for danger without even thinking about it. It makes me tired.

But I went home tired yet happy to be out in the wold again. Thanks to my trusting people and myself again to give it a trey based on my interactions here.

I hope there are others here coming out of their PTSD shell, too, like I am. Living like I was felt like serving a sentence at times. This is way more fun. More like living. Slowly but surely we get better. "

Thank you for sharing this. It shines the lantern of light on hope, and it is an inspiration for us all.

...Kudos!!!!!!

~~~pax vangie

I struggle everytime I have to go out at all. I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me and I panic when I have to go alone to the doctor but I know I need to do some things on my own. I am very tired of being afraid to do everything I even stopped driving more than two years ago because I am afraid I will get into an accident and die like my husband leaving my kids orphans. I really don't know how to get over that but even riding in a car is nerve racking for me. I recently took a sanity test just to see what it would say but I didn't expect that it would be right on so many things. I don't have very many friends and most of them are online so I really don't feel the need to go out. When I do go out no matter where we go I just want to leave as soon as possible because I feel like I'm not good enough to be around people without them judging me for being disabled like it is my fault. I am afraid all the time, how did you overcome this?

Thanks, everybody, I'm so glad to hear from so many of you. Only you who are also trauma survivors can know what it means to get back out that door from home. You are precious to me, my friends, and I am so grateful you celebrate this with me.

Mojo & arfie, no, it wasn't a Springsteen concert, though now I'll be looking for one to go to. It was a different band from my 1970s youth, Fleetwood Mac. I really enjoyed it.

51%, as always you share a keen insight with nuance. Now that you mention it, when I was a teenager I liked being out of my violent house as much as possible. In a crowd I felt safer than in that house. Somewhere along the line it flipped, and I became tired quickly by crowds from scanning. I noticed you know when it flipped for you--when you became a parent--so I'll do a little more reflection to see if I can't come up with a similar insight as to how it flipped for me.

Arfie, thanks for celebrating the good stuff with me. After your detailed honesty about how you manage crowds and exits, I feel I should come clean and admit that indeed, I was at the far back of the concert hall near an exit. :-) Ha! But I was there, and I had fun.

And sidarta, yes, it does feel like another step in my freedom. I'll have to try IHOP sometime, too! Blessings, all.