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Sorry about this being so random. I suppose there other groups that would be more appropriate but I know people here and value all of your thoughts and opinions.
It is not easy making new friends in middle age. (I am almost 49) I am very close to 3 other women...we make up a group. We have all been through our own traumas, we all love to laugh and we genuinely love each other. We also all have our own quirks. Some of those quirks are really putting me off.
No names will be used so here we go.
P. . When I first met her she was not working. She was out because of a knee injury. She had been fighting over a year to get approved for knee replacement. She is younger than me and they didn't want to do a replacement because it wasn't needed at at her age it would have to be done over twice to get her through the rest of her life. She finally got a partial replacement. Then a second surgery because something was wrong with the first one.
A year and a half ago she made a dramatic FB post. "The doctor has found something on my ovary. There will have to be more testing. The insurance company is not authorizing surgery. I will meet with the doctor in a couple of weeks to decide on the treatment.
Ovarian Cancer, right??? OMG...i was in tears. I was so worried about her. Turns out it was an ovarian cyst...run of the mill, every month, kind of cyst. Yes they can be painful. Ive had them since i was 11. She knew damn well what it was.
She says she has horrible food allergies. Ok...fine. I do admit I don't buy into the whole thing but I will accept it at face value
The food allergies are of very common foods (onion and garlic family) so this limits her activities and places she can go. The mere smell of onions will upset her. So when we all go out we are relegated to a chain ice cream restaurant so she can order vanilla ice cream. The next issue is she is diabetic. Again...I am concerned. Offering to help and giving moral support. Come to find out she isn't quite diabetic. Her doc said she is "pre diabetic" so is every other overweight woman over 45. The final effing straw is that the last time we all got together at the chain restuarant. She tries to order sugar free, lactose free ice cream. ( frosty bowl 'o chemicals???) We all look at her and she says she is now lactose intolerant. We suggest she simply pop a lactaid. and enjoy her sugar free ice cream.
I guess what i am saying is FFS...WTF????
Ok my other friend Pix:
She has her priorities straight most of the time. She is a work at home mom. Her youngest is 8 and her oldest 16. I love spending time with her but hardly get the chance. I messaged her today and said hey...I'm on vaca this week. Wanna get together for coffee and a chat. She said no....she had the kids at home. Seriously???? The 16 yo can't watch the other ones for 2 hours??? We can't hang in your kitchen/porch/craft room while your kids carry on with their stuff? She did not show up to N's wedding reception because of her youngest little league game. Whatever.
N....N is balanced with her life and probably the most "normal" If there is such a thing. She is busy working this week but I know i can pop over on the weekends if i want.
I need some new friends. I do love my current friends but I want to go out to a movie, maybe a drink. Wow...how about a concert. maybe try sushi. All things I can't do with them, either because of family commitments, food allergies or some other thing. i am feeling really alone right now.
It is not easy making new friends in middle age. (I am almost 49) I am very close to 3 other women...we make up a group. We have all been through our own traumas, we all love to laugh and we genuinely love each other. We also all have our own quirks. Some of those quirks are really putting me off.
No names will be used so here we go.
P. . When I first met her she was not working. She was out because of a knee injury. She had been fighting over a year to get approved for knee replacement. She is younger than me and they didn't want to do a replacement because it wasn't needed at at her age it would have to be done over twice to get her through the rest of her life. She finally got a partial replacement. Then a second surgery because something was wrong with the first one.
A year and a half ago she made a dramatic FB post. "The doctor has found something on my ovary. There will have to be more testing. The insurance company is not authorizing surgery. I will meet with the doctor in a couple of weeks to decide on the treatment.
Ovarian Cancer, right??? OMG...i was in tears. I was so worried about her. Turns out it was an ovarian cyst...run of the mill, every month, kind of cyst. Yes they can be painful. Ive had them since i was 11. She knew damn well what it was.
She says she has horrible food allergies. Ok...fine. I do admit I don't buy into the whole thing but I will accept it at face value
The food allergies are of very common foods (onion and garlic family) so this limits her activities and places she can go. The mere smell of onions will upset her. So when we all go out we are relegated to a chain ice cream restaurant so she can order vanilla ice cream. The next issue is she is diabetic. Again...I am concerned. Offering to help and giving moral support. Come to find out she isn't quite diabetic. Her doc said she is "pre diabetic" so is every other overweight woman over 45. The final effing straw is that the last time we all got together at the chain restuarant. She tries to order sugar free, lactose free ice cream. ( frosty bowl 'o chemicals???) We all look at her and she says she is now lactose intolerant. We suggest she simply pop a lactaid. and enjoy her sugar free ice cream.
I guess what i am saying is FFS...WTF????
Ok my other friend Pix:
She has her priorities straight most of the time. She is a work at home mom. Her youngest is 8 and her oldest 16. I love spending time with her but hardly get the chance. I messaged her today and said hey...I'm on vaca this week. Wanna get together for coffee and a chat. She said no....she had the kids at home. Seriously???? The 16 yo can't watch the other ones for 2 hours??? We can't hang in your kitchen/porch/craft room while your kids carry on with their stuff? She did not show up to N's wedding reception because of her youngest little league game. Whatever.
N....N is balanced with her life and probably the most "normal" If there is such a thing. She is busy working this week but I know i can pop over on the weekends if i want.
I need some new friends. I do love my current friends but I want to go out to a movie, maybe a drink. Wow...how about a concert. maybe try sushi. All things I can't do with them, either because of family commitments, food allergies or some other thing. i am feeling really alone right now.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
But I got it when you said at age 49 making friends is hard. I'm 56, and as much as I need summers to recover my strength, I don't seem to be making friends who carry over into summer time when I'm not working. I don't think there's anything wrong with me or with them. It's just that I'm not married with kids and I live in a town of 20,000, so when work doesn't get us all together my friends and I don't congregate.
With only 40% of kidney function, I'm a dreading the draining hard work as school starts up again. But I went in to school today to run an errand and saw my workmates today and just loved it.
I know what you mean about friends. My school lunch buddies are the greatest 9 months a year. I've got to figure out these isolated summers. My church happens to close down for the summer every year, too. It's my 3rd year here, and I've anticipated summer with different plans, but so far they haven't worked.
I did road trips to old friends this summer, but that really wasn't enough.
I know it's possible to have friends in later life. I'll bet you're going to figure this out. When you do, let me in on the key to it, ok?
Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the start of school.
Hylie, I have actually signed up for a couple of meet up groups. We have a fair number of groups here but many are aimed at the younger crowd or require more physical activity than I can do right now. (no hiking groups.....maybe someday but not yet)
Muji, I know what you mean about work friends. I have the greatest work friends and there are one or 2 that I would like to see outside of work ( platonic only!)
It is harder to meet new people I find as well ... What about taking some type of night school course or joining a gym?
Your first friend 'sounds' like a bit of a sympathy junkie.. That would be draining for me
Making new friends has become steadily harder for me, too. At 60... Let's not go there... But my big compensation is that I have more resources available to me for those moments when my established friendships just aren't cutting it for whatever reason. When those moments of discontent come upon me, I reach into the social cornucopia and pull out something to try. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't, but it is always worth the effort.
I have no doubt you'll find something, Cecil.
The odd thing about gym's in this area (maybe not odd) is that they aren't social. Go . Work out. Actually that is fine with me. Hell my arse wouldn't be able to go to a gym right now but when I did. I didn't care to socialize.
I'm working on the meetups. Just been having a rough time lately. it is good to know I'm not alone.