No but I fear the political correctness takes away from genuine conversations for the social graces of inclusivity. It is never my intention to offend though that is not up to the offended. I also fear it creates a less resilient social community when it comes to enduring hardship.

Sometimes hearing the hard stuff helps build you stronger after healing has been done.

amen to that, pineapple. grammar is the art of using the words to discredit the message. when plied to peer support, grammar corrections are a fine way to make a personal crisis all about ? ? ? whatever cause the corrector is championing today. can i wait until my personal crisis has passed before i take up you cause, please?

correcting another's grammar is the most effective form of deflection i have ever used. ^it^ is not about psychic pain. it's about your choice of words.

Hola Arfie,
I use the word normal actually, I mean I don’t use it with bad intentions though. Like when I bring my cat to the vet I’m going to get him his shots (rabies ect.) & tell the vet how he’s doing... I will say if he’s eating, drinking normal ect. Personally if the vet looked at me & said don’t you mean he’s eating & drinking as he “usually would” ...I would feel like I’m being shut down & talked down to.

I also agree with Pineapple said ^ that too political correctness for sure can take away from the conversation. I mean this is just my feelings towards the whole thing & not even sure if I’m using these words rite but I like better when critical thinking is applied because I feel it can kinda show you what the person is saying & how they’re saying it. Sometimes people go crazy with what do you call it semantics or whatever & it’s like they are just rearranging words to ... well yea kinda shut down the conversation or talk down to someone.

Another example

back when I was a bartender in certain places from NYC to Miami I’ve definitely had people ask me ‘what are you’ like my race, nationality & it’s so funny because you can have two different people use those exact words “what are you” & one person could seem kind & they are genuinely interested & then I could have another person ask the same exact question, same words but I could tell in their face & the ‘way’ they said those words that they were like kinda ... um I don’t want to say the word, & looking down on me.

Side note this has nothing to do with what I’m saying but since my minds going back to those bartender days I’m just remembering if I was bartending in certain places where lots of tourists come in; I remember if people were leaning in & whispering to me they were going to either ask what my ethnicity or where they could get a bag of marijuana since they are on vacation lol :)

Sorry Arfie I know my answers can be a little weird or out there sometimes

* hope I didn’t use any words or offend anyone with anything I said I promise it’s not my intention

Big hugs <3 <3 <3

lol Arfie I just realized you wrote above what i wrote, we must have been writing at the same time :)
extra hug <3

I use it in the stastical sense, b/c every common use of "normal" is'nt, well... "accurate" (? Do I offend?)

It's used as an insult. "You normals don't understand!" "You're not normal!"
And it is used as a weapon: "Here is normal! Strive for it!" except... that's ridiculously unrealistic. A person's norm is not supposed to meet the population norm, b/c the latter is a statistical measure, and you can't expect every individual to fit it. That's not how it works.

So, in all that? I embrace being weird. I may as well. I don't fit in the pre-made boxes, so why try. My avi is a feline, but unlike real felines, I can't squish me into a box regardless of its dimensions.

Supportive puma purrs. Avoid the word. We understand. I also hate "acceptable", if it's any comfort.

i'm not even a little sorry when you ramble, missy. my greatest complaint is that you don't do it as often as i would wish for. just wishing. . .

the tones angle is critical to my senses. an exercise i do to help children understand the value of tones is to use angry tones to tell them how wonderful they are and how much i love them. at the very least they cringe fearfully. they often run and hide, i then use gentle, reassuring tones and mean, vile words to calm them. it works every time and serves as an important lesson for them. tone counts more than words.

thank you, leo. in the right company, i might even call that, "normal for an anti-norm. for sure, those very valid points are well publicized.

with a speech defect, hearing issues and the manners of a child prostitute, one of my very first exercises in radical acceptance was accepting that weird is normal for me. weird is acceptable in my strictly personal healing journey

every living journey is unique. keep it personal.

Arfie, I'm lost at what you said

which part lost you, pineapple?

for what it's worth
when a discussion loses me, i often just write it off as, "not for me." none of us gets to understand everything in life. i take what i like and leave the rest. it's normal for me.

Yeah and not getting to know everything either is also an addition to can't understand everything.

Oh nvm I understand what you are saying now. My brain is comprehension is a bit slow this week. I'm tired. I'm working a lot of 12 hour shifts. Not eating very well.

easy does it, my healing warrior. 12 hour shifts and inadequate self-care will impair the strongest of us.