Yup, I go through similar, all the way to feeling calmer and more rational when I am dissociated to numbness. It's possible I really am calmer and more rational for a while. Until the time bomb of suppression and neglect explodes. . . The collateral damage of those explosions has been horrific in my strictly personal herstory.

One of my more effective shrinks described that brand of dissociation as all-natural triage, designed to get an injured psyche through the immediate crisis but downright infectious when mistaken for treatment.

How are you feeling now? Are you better?

I have mixed feelings about emotional numbness...sometimes it is similar to calmness, which has positives, but I think it can also be a way to mask or suppress feelings that are in fact there. (For me, getting in touch with my feelings rather than denying/suppressing them was a big life development a decade ago that really helped me.) What are your thoughts?

Yes, and my psychiatrist prescribed me Prazosin for such nightmares and the dissociating that follows them. It's really helping me, like they found it did around 2012 with Iraq vets who went through car bombings like I did in South America.

Do you have a psychiatrist you could get Prazosin from, pink?

I do, but I don't have insurance, so I'm not sure I can afford it. I'm supposed to be on a couple of other medications but I'm not because I can't afford them. I am on Buspar, Citalopram, Sprintec, and Metformin.

I just took a nap on my prep period. I'm feeling the same, very unemotional, no reactions to anything... And I kinda like it. I wasn't raised to deal with emotions. I was raised to believe my feelings didn't matter and to bury them away because no one cared how I felt about anything. It was so bad I could only verbally identify feeling five emotions (rage, infatuation, depression, fear, and joy) until I was 20. It's only been in the last eight or nine years maybe that I've been actually exploring emotions and learning to deal with them. Not feeling much of anything, being almost completely rational, seems like a great short-term solution.
I do know it comes at a price. Without feeling, I lack the drive to write or create things, which gives me a sense of relief and an outlet. Without emotions, I am less empathetic towards my students. The only thing I really feel right now is an immense need to sleep. I'm very tired right now.