Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hello, my name is Stacey. I've been on here for quite a few years now. Every time I hit rock bottom, or close, I find myself back on this website. You guys catch me when I fall. So, here I am again falling. LOL I have been living with PTSD for about 17 years now. I was mugged and beaten up while going to college away from home. I have kind of rebuilt myself again for the most part. To the point where now, I am starting to enter society more. For the last couple decades I've had agoraphobia, because the chances of you dying increase exponentially when you leave your house. A fact my shrink can think of no argum,ent to, so there I sat. Safe. Until, one day I decided I was not happy sitting there safe. I wanted something to happen to me even if it was bad. How crazy huh!!! So, I left my house. My brother's fiance asked her Facebook friends if anyone would be interested in taking me out on a date LOLOLOL One said yes! Knowing I had PTSD and a myriad of other complications. So, this guy - ended up being the piece to complete me. I hate saying that. But, listen. He is strong. Muscles. Loves to fight. Wins fights. He has made me feel safe in the world again. No one is going to mess with me here. He has a reputation for having a short fuse. He is my protector. I have felt a leap out of my shell. All of a sudden, I am walking on the street alone again, not scared. I'm thinking of getting a job, not scared. I'm living my life again, not scared. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE AFTER ALMOST 20 YEARS OF NOTHING? I feel complete. So, I'm sorry for that, because I thought we should all be complete in and of ourselves before trying a relationship... The things you think, but do not know.
I am now working dor DHHS, child welfare. I am coming up against trauma every day all day. I experienced it, and I made it my life's mission to help people. I'm a Psychology major, working on my PhD with Capella University. It's a research degree, I want to eleviate the antisocial symptoms of PTSD with social videogames. That's what my dissertation is on. I have been going downhill lately, becxause of a couple things:
1) New job deals with child abuse (I'm very sensitive)
2) Boyfriend is in jail for violation of probation (From a previous fighting charge)
3) Late homework piling up cuz I have zero time (Statistics, a subject I hate and am not interested in at all but need for my degree)
4) I just found out I have cancer (Basal Cell Carcionoma, on my FACE, which the doctors will be removing Dec. 1st, and I hope they don't have to remove half my face!)
5) My family is moving from Maine to Floirida, and I am not going with them because of my boyfriend. Entire support system gone, and I need to find a new place to live like 5 mins ago.
6) Because of the stress I have been constipated, my acne is flaring up, and my cold sores are flaring up
I can't help but feel if my boyfriend was with me, I would be able to deal with all of this. I don't even want to get into his rpoboelms, he was left on the street by his mother at the age of 12. Having to fend for himself, self-medicating, selling drugs, getting into fights over food and shelter. The man has cPTSD, and a myriad of other issues I'm trying to help him with. I feel like I don't have one good thing in my life right now, and I'm falling.
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I have 3 kids. 24. 17. 15. My 17 yr old has become super defiant. He and his 15 yr old sister have on their own decision stopped going to their dads because he and his household is so toxic.My 15 yr old and myself feel like we have to tip toe around my son who is 17. And physically towers over us and out weighs us. He has become emotionally abusive and on the verge of becoming physically...
What skills are you using to address your stress? Many people use meditation, music,
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What skills are you using to address your stress? Many people use meditation, music, exercise, painting, dancing, playing an instrument, therapy, caring for pets, writing, visualization, playing a sport, reading, and many other activities to manage stress - whatever works for you is what you should use.
I can hear how much you care for your boyfriend and see that you are full of good intentions in your relationship. A word of warning... I was in a relationship where I had good intentions and 'really helped' him 'a lot', but I didn't have real great boundaries and ended up trying to help more than was useful for either of us in the end when he apparently got tired of trying. I think it's great to be supportive as long as you know that you can't deal with his problems for him and in the end it's his responsibility. I hope he gets a wonderful resolution to his issues, just when I read the sentence that said you were the first woman to ever give him unconditional love a red flag went up in my head. Maybe I'm not over whatever relationship I'm thinking about enough yet, but if he'd've said that to me i'd've felt like I was being set up to eventually keep on "loving" someone who treated me badly or be accused of not loving unconditionally.. Anyway, I hope that's not your situation. But, do be strong in and of yourself, let his strength complement your strength.
I hope your procedure on December 1st goes well. Even though Maine and Florida are a long ways apart, I'm sure your family is just a phone call away.
P.S. you are so brave pursuing a phd in research psychology when you don't want anything to do with statistics. After all, research and statistics go hand in hand. They're basically inseparable. But, hey, maybe you can delegate that part to one of your colleagues.
Peace and strength.
Beryl.