Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi. I've just learned about the term Complex PTSD reading this site---first stuff I've read in over 10 years on my PTSD, ever since reading "I Can't Get Over It" back in about 1997-8.
Many traumas since at least age "womb" - no details necessary. Just wanted to say I had heard something years ago in my mid-30s about getting help for a certain "repurcution" of my traumas back then, and the therapist said if I didn't do it while then in my middle 30s, I'd be definitely dealing with it in Menopause, late 40s or 50s...what a prophecy to hear...and now I'm living it at almost age 56 (my pic is of me 9 months prior to being strangled at my bedside by an intruder who came in through the bathroom window at 5:52a.m. 8/15/80).
If you can recall the exact time & date, there's also that Anniversary Date thing my therapist now tells me is very common. So, I've just gotten past the huge Anni-date that I've now lived/er-re-lived for 30 years.
I get so sick of getting overly excited or upset about the least little thing & having no one to talk to. Like tonight, I found yet another physical problem (a lump of arthritis or a cyst has popped up on a finger joint -ugh). My very abusive husband died of Lung Cancer in 2001, and I've already lost the home, almost all the life insurance money, and I've been disabled physically & of course, emotionally, for 14 years now.
When do you ever quit feeling like there's no reason to exist? How do you find a purpose to life? I feel so lost & alone.
Been in therapy with a wonderful trauma therapist now for a year almost. We finally are tapping in to my 4 year old little frightened girl who retreated into a corner all those years. It's odd to me, the sort of hypnosis that gets done. I don't have big gaps in memory (except for alcoholic black-outs and usual getting old forgetting the trivial past evens), but I sure can remember dates, times and certain events like they were yesterday.
Does anyone ever really move on when they've had over 25 traumas?
Many traumas since at least age "womb" - no details necessary. Just wanted to say I had heard something years ago in my mid-30s about getting help for a certain "repurcution" of my traumas back then, and the therapist said if I didn't do it while then in my middle 30s, I'd be definitely dealing with it in Menopause, late 40s or 50s...what a prophecy to hear...and now I'm living it at almost age 56 (my pic is of me 9 months prior to being strangled at my bedside by an intruder who came in through the bathroom window at 5:52a.m. 8/15/80).
If you can recall the exact time & date, there's also that Anniversary Date thing my therapist now tells me is very common. So, I've just gotten past the huge Anni-date that I've now lived/er-re-lived for 30 years.
I get so sick of getting overly excited or upset about the least little thing & having no one to talk to. Like tonight, I found yet another physical problem (a lump of arthritis or a cyst has popped up on a finger joint -ugh). My very abusive husband died of Lung Cancer in 2001, and I've already lost the home, almost all the life insurance money, and I've been disabled physically & of course, emotionally, for 14 years now.
When do you ever quit feeling like there's no reason to exist? How do you find a purpose to life? I feel so lost & alone.
Been in therapy with a wonderful trauma therapist now for a year almost. We finally are tapping in to my 4 year old little frightened girl who retreated into a corner all those years. It's odd to me, the sort of hypnosis that gets done. I don't have big gaps in memory (except for alcoholic black-outs and usual getting old forgetting the trivial past evens), but I sure can remember dates, times and certain events like they were yesterday.
Does anyone ever really move on when they've had over 25 traumas?
When a life has brought heartache and pain...and abuse, use, and misuse...it's very hard to find gratitude.
To whom? To what?? To God??
Please, understand...I'm not knocking God...but the God that I was raised with was the same one that would say, "love me or fear me"...which is ultimately what a Narcissist says.
I am grateful to God...and, yes, something went wrong between man and God and that's why were in the mess we are in.
But, I have a problem with a God that makes provision to "save" me; when all the while...allowances were made to allow me to "sin" and set my course toward "hell"..in the first place.
I know this discussion diverges into a whole topic that I won't push...other than to say that...as a child...I feared my father, who beat me...and yet...it was my "Christian Duty" to love him for his beatings.
The verse went to the effect of "spare not the rod for thy son's crying"...and it wasn't.
I was beaten sadistically to his satisfaction.
Of course, on Sunday morning...with my hair slicked back (age 8 or 9) and groomed...I was the apple of his eye when Sunday School let out and his Sunday School members would file out and pat my head for being such a "good son".
They didn't see the angry 16 year old the boy became that eventually came to blows with his heart-diseased daddy...the days the "cows came home", so to speak.
Anyway, I digress.
I'm just lost with the God-relationship-thing and that's very painful and scary.
I am going to think about what some of you have said about 12 step programs. I just started going to a group. Some of the things that didn't "sit" well with me, I just ignored. Right now, I'm glad to go, because of the support of other people. But I know what you mean about the shaming and the self-judging.
Tigerpaws, it sounds so awful the way your dad treated you. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're here.
Thanks for the book suggestions! I am off to the library today!