Well i will be on the road Wednesday to pick up all my stuff from home.The last step of leaving. I am excited and nervous and a little overwhelmed. It will be hard to say goodbye to my guardian angel Puddles"his Dog" and my bestfriend through all the flashbacks and everything else PTSD has brought..I am sure I will cry.. I love her so much.I think of her all the time.
My ex has made it so easy for me.He acts like he is dooing me this great favor and how he is so much better than my exes. The truth is he has been ready for me to go. I think that is why he was such an ass and pushing me away. 2 days after I took my trip here to get away and see what I wanted to do (he did not know that is what I was doing) He said he would make life easier for me and end it himself because I was not reacting the way he wanted. Was packing my stuff up. Then there is his" I just want to make sure your ok, Being on your own will be the best thing for you". Sound so sweet......yeah.sure. It is so much easier now that I am away to see how controllling and manipulating he was. I dont miss it at all. I want to thank everyone that were so supportive during my process. All of you were my support system and helped me realize, it was not all in my head or PTSD. every day I heal more since I left and I dont have to worry about being put down,manipulated or be his roady for both of the bands gigs. I am staying wit some wonderful friends that I have known since I was 16 and I am 49 now. They know who I am and love me for me not what I can do for them. I feel safe and cared about and accepted. That is the best feeling!!!!!!!!!!!! Well got to go but thanks again.