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Nag Flags

arfie
arfie

I find myself wanting to explain, "Nag Flags." This is a couple cutsie that hubs and I have used for ??? years. We use it during those moments we are worried about the other. No laundry list needed. Just a gentle reminder. "The Nag Flags are waving, Babycakes." A 36 year partnership between wordsmiths can spawn untlimited numbers of those couple cutsies that nobody except the spawning couple can possibly understand. Every so often one of our couple cutsies catches on and starts swimming toward the mainstream. "Nag Flags" seems to be catching on. Folks around us are starting to use it, as well. I think I used it here a few times during my sinus infection fog.


"Nag Flags" are those little things that let you know things are not quite right and need attention before they become a problem. "Saluting the nag flags" is plying those small stitches -therapy exercises, etc- before the hole gets any bigger.


For what it's worth. Am I making sense?

iwontbackdown1
iwontbackdown1
I love these "Nag Flags!" Yes! It makes great sense especially when you throw in some humor...can't hurt, right?! Good goin' for you two, too! May I use it occasionally, please? You could be the catch phrase for 2017....depending on when you began, you could legitimately be in the running for real. Words of the year are contributed by anyone every year. Check around for catch phrases; I'm serious. I heard the word thingy on our local NBC station, followed up by WGN local.
Anyway, I think it's clever, useful and funny in a universal setting-way.:):)
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Yep. Perfect sense to me. Hubby and I have a few code phrases, and some that aren't coded at all.

Last week, this conversation:
Me to Hubby: "You're going all bulldog."
Hubby to me: "Well, you're going all turtle."
Me to Hubby: "So what's got you feeling bulldog?"
Hubby to me: "What's got you going all turtle?"

And to us, that makes perfect sense. And prompts the talk about the little annoying or terrifying things before we end up needing to decamp to separate parts of the house to calm down, work out the words we need, and use them kindly.
arfie
arfie
Iwont, Can't tell you how long we've used it, or even how it came to be. For sure it's nothing recent. 36 years is a long enough partnership that it would be hard to find the dates on the calendar if we noted all the anniversaries. It is protected by the Scott's Copyright: This material has the right to reproduce wheresoever it shall find fertile minds. Use freely.

Leo, That kind of shorthand is my personal favorite part of long-term relationships. Sure cuts down on the need to re-tell the trauma tales and re-visiting old laundry lists. Hubs was my first long-term relationship ever. The couple cutesies hit me with a novelty not everybody can appreciate. The hard part is cuteing responsibly. It ain't so cute when we start cuteing around in the other's most vulnerable wounds. En garde, jerk-off. . .
ryverrat
ryverrat
This is the first I've heard of Nag Flags but it sounds like a great idea. Problem is I'm dealing with a hubby with schizoaffective and bipolar, all complemented by my PTSD. So we each have very different reactions to things at various times. Best thing I have found is sitting down and explaining why something is bothering one of us in terms the other understands. For example, I sometimes explain things in terms of my hubby's diabetes. At times he tries to explain things in terms of my arthritis. Even small things seem to need a explanation with us. Wish a short warn would work but I think we are just going to have to stick to the long route.
arfie
arfie
It typically takes allot of those tedious detail talks to achieve a single "short warn." After 36 years, of practice, hubs and I might be reaching the other extreme. Being able to summarize complex days in two or three sentences doesn't leave us much to talk about for the rest of the hours we spend together. It gets tempting to pick scabs, just to alleviate the boredom.
DarkGypsyG
DarkGypsyG
ah the beauty of love languages short hand.
me and my hubs have our own too. however most people would think twice about repeating most things we say to each other- oh so shocking lol! then of course a big part of ours is made up of just looks passing between us. we really aren't cute as much as we're addams family.
we use cat sounds a lot. to diffuse minor tiffs. if we feel playful. to mess with people in walmart.
our other big thing is quotes. all kinds of quotes from all kinds of sources that are part of our life. things that only a pair would know cause ya had ta been there :)

arfie, thanks for the thread. gave me an opportunity to share a "bright side of life"
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Funny, I'm not married and no one to nag, and I still have a nagging problem. I nag my own self. Can you believe it? I guess it comes from that PTSD hypervigilance or something. Nag flags would help me with awareness that that's what's going on, and it's time to ground myself.
arfie
arfie
I don't know anybody who doesn't need nagging about those little things that tend to fall through the cracks and the obscure blind spots others can see more clearly than we can see ourselves. It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it. Guess who gets the job in a one person household?

Salute them nag flags, muji. Even with a resident nag to wave the flags for you, it's still up to the nagee to do the do.
ryverrat
ryverrat
Muji, I'm with you. I think I give myself nag flags daily. When I find myself dwelling on something anxiety inducing, I say," if I don't stop, I'll give myself an asthma attack and that sucks." Or "stop pissing off my asthma." I've been having asthma problems lately and am fairly sensitive to things that can set it off. So I tell my PTSD symptom to knock it off by stating it will make my asthma worse. And since I was hospitalized, my asthma scares the crap out of me. So my brain takes the threat seriously and the anxiety takes the back seat. Even the hypervigilence listens. Works also for chores like clean the cat box and do the dishes before any odor becomes an asthma trigger. So many ways to apply the asthma threat. Brain must have figured out breathing trumps flight or fight against perceived threats and trumps laziness too.
Muskoka007
Muskoka007
Muji your post made me laugh. How right you are, I nag myself too. I am not a big nagger to my husband, I tend to do the opposite, say nothing which is not good either
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