Yikes! That's allot to deal with. How long since that happened? How old is your daughter?

Having some one to talk to can make a world of difference. Not so much somebody to tell you what to do. It is so much easier to stand by decisions that are true to your own heart. The parent/child bond makes it especially easy to tell the diff between somebody who is just following orders vs. somebody who is coming from their own heart.

I can't tell you *what* to do, but I can tell you that gentle hugs and permission to cry are helpful to me, and that the sooner you're both in professional post-trauma therapy? The better your recovery chances in terms of PTSD. You'll always miss your wife; she'll miss her mother. That is *normal*. But processing the shock and trauma of injuries, death, accident? That's gonna need experts. I'm just a patient. All I got is support to you and your daughter.

That's a lot to have left on your plate in life. I hope your daughter is ok, I'm sure that's your concern. But as the flight attendants say about what to do in case of loss of cabin pressure in flight, when the oxygen masks pop down we have to put ours on first so we can breathe to help others get theirs on, too. So I'm glad you've joined us to support you in self care.

DS has a support group for Widows and Widowers, too, that might add to our support here at DS PTSD. If you don't already, many members belong to more than one support group on DS.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers

Much support to you, Ed.

Thanks all for the advice and support, am grateful for that which you have done for me so far.

Welcome again, you might also try the widowers and widowers site. Unfortunately at some point if we have a partner, one will leave before the other and grief is hard to work through when you still have care of a child to do.
My heart, as a widow myself it's how I found DS. But here also fits in my life story.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers
J.

I am so very sorry you are going through this. I too am a Marine, and any time one of my fellow Marine brothers or sisters is hurting, it huts me too. Thank you for reaching out and seeking help. A lot of people in your situation may choose to bottle it up until it boils over, and that is usually not good for anyone.

You can get through this. The fact you are a Marine proves that. You have been trained to overcome adversity, both physical and emotional. You are a warrior, and warriors never quit. Ever.

Many resources exist to help you. If you are still on active duty, maybe you can talk to one of the chaplains on the base. They are awesome at helping you get through truly tough times. Or, maybe you can talk to your pastor or a counselor? They are also awesome and can help you set up a plan to move forward in a way that helps you balance work and your daughter while dealing with the grief associated with the loss of your wife.

PM me if you would like me to send you a phone number you can call to help you get started.

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this. You have my support, and I am praying for peace in your and your daughter's hearts. Semper FI.

Big squishy hug Ed.... I am so very sorry for your loss and your pain.... Sometimes all we can take are baby steps..... They're steps in the right direction..... A RL support group for grief might also be a help for you
I'm glad that you're here...... There is also a very good Widows and Widowers board on here... People are in different places of healing and it's also very supportive......xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers

Pete-re-pete on widowers...maybe there is something to that? But check WW of faith too if it fits.

I have been a widow now 5 years...has it been that long? because most days there are points when it seems it just happened. And in a few minutes to undefined longer it hurts like new again.
I can tell you that a spouse , the loss of one, it is different in so many ways. than any other you will lose, more so if you were still actively in love with that person.
I get excited about an accomplishment , goal achieved, piece of art work...and my go to friend, husband, love, other half of my being is not there to turn to. It takes time and that has no time limit, since losing any one of those persons in your life will affect you, but losing the person that is all those people to you has a profound affect. I talk here about John, but it doesn't always go as deep as it feels, since unless you have been through it it's like describing the difference between an orange and the sun. The color might match at a moment but the is as far as it goes.
Gentle hugs.
J.

Thanks Jewells..... Sorry Ed I should have read the other comments..... xo

My heart goes out to you in your tragic loss. Losing a family member is a life altering event.

You will always miss your wife and your daughter will always miss her mother but you do have each other and you share a common bond.

A real live grief support group in your area may be able to help both of you individually or together in walking in and through both of your grief.

Doing special things in Katie's memory or as a tribute to her can be healing. You could do it inidivually or as a family. Don't be afraid to talk about Katie or how much you miss her. Even talking to your daughter about her mother may help. Females process grief differently than males and your daughter just needs her Daddy's attention, warm heart, security, and listening ear. Dont be afraid to let her express her grief to you. And don't drown yourself in your work--be there for her. She needs you to be physically present in the house even if she is in her room.

The movie, "Fly Away Home" is a true story about a girl who was in a car accident with her mother and her mother died at the scene of the accident. The girl then has to go live with her estranged father in another country. They discover some geese eggs and hatch them. They help the geese to their nesting grounds and now it is a sanctuary for these geese. This true story shows that good can be done in memory or tribute to Katie too.

Another movie "The Horse Whisperer" is about a girl who loses her best friend when a semi plowed into her while riding her horse. This girl not only loses her friend but her leg too.

Both these movies deal with the pain of loss and grief-- that may be helpful or not helpful to watch either together or alone.
Finding websites that talk about the natural emotions and thoughts each person feels as they grieve can help. There is no time limit on grief.

What you have gone through is traumatic but you need each other and can still find joy in your family life together. A good grief counsellor can help you as a parent with this as well.

Big warm blanket of comfort to both of your hearts at this time [♡]

P. S. Sometimes a low maintenance pet can also bring freshness and comfort in the home if you don't have one already.

My dog has been my "cry pillow" and brought me comfort and even laughs in some of my darkest hours and when I have cried for hours on end day after day.

Grief takes a lot from our bodies too so makes sure both of you eat good nutritious meals daily and stay healthy through this time. Has your daughter recovered from her injuries?