Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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run2bfree 03/16/2018

I am wondering how many others on here grew up with a narcissist or sociopathic Mom's. It seems to me, talking to my friends, that a lot of women born in the 30's seem very narcissistic. They went through a lot with the war, they were too young to be in it directly, but it was a world event and on the radio all the time

Or maybe they got dropped on their heads a lot, I don't know, I do know mothers have a 90% influence on children and when they are not well themselves it is difficult for the kids. They either become "pleasers" or narcissists themselves. Sometimes I do envy the narcissists, they do not seem to worry...everyone else around them does though and goes to counseling to deal with them

Did any others go through this? Any thoughts or insights?

run2bfree 03/18/2018

I would believe you (my abuser was into torture stuff) and I am very sorry that you had that with your Mom
What must be really hard for you is statistically adoptive children do the best as they ususally are truley wanted... so sorry for your situation

Polkafly 03/18/2018

I'm sorry you've all been through such hardships to do with your Mums. Your Mum is the one person you're supposed to be able to turn to and rely on. They're the first person you turn to to model how to develop relationships. My Mum is a very... complex person. I don't blame her for my issues, i've been through a lot and she certainly is not at fault for that, however, she does cause some issues. I've always been compared to my younger sister and how i'm not 'as smart' or 'as pretty' but I try hard so I may do better because of that. It is complex because I believe everything stems from her past, She often becomes very... controlling, to think of a better word, if she doesn't get her own way then she becomes very hostile. What i've also noticed is that when she becomes very anxious, her need to control becomes worse. It then becomes a really nasty cycle. My other half noticed it more and more when we went to live with her whilst awaiting our house move. She became very aggressive and would fly off the handle for the smallest of things. It's hard as you're stuck between a rock and a hard place when your mother and your partner don't like each other. I can understand why my partner becomes upset as he's very protective of me and hates to see me upset, but the other side is that in spite of it all, she's my Mum.

run2bfree 03/18/2018

Nice insight Polkafly, and i am glad you have found your balance with your relationship with your Mom. I am sorry you were compared with your sister, we are all unique and that is awful to do that. I do think Mom's do the best with what they have, not that we have to tolerate that but to understand and sympathise
I don't think being a Mom gives you a license to be cruel, many parents deserve to loose thier "parent" card so to speak
I am a Mom too and I took this oportunity to have the realtionship I did not have with my Mom with my kids. Being their for them, taking them to counselling and helping them be independent adults in life.
IF I was like my Mom, I hope my kids would not have a relationship with me as I would want them to have healthy relationships, no sacrifice for the title of being a Mom period

mujicaptsd 03/18/2018

I would, Mojo, I promise.

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