Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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The Blame Game made the top of my "Watch List" this morning. Strictly personal. Inside my personal skin.
The piece of my personal Blame Game is a sub-sport I call, "Tit for Tat." I am a multi-lingual poet and song-writer during my hobby hours. Girl-howdy, I can counter any tit with masterful, quippy tats. I am surrounded by equally masterful Tit for Tat players. The talent seems to run in the family. When the clans get started in a Tit-for-Tat skirmish, we can volley the most innocent of details into a pulpy mass of hurt.
I have now control over the other players in this Blame Game. I will take credit for having invented the game myself if it will keep me off the playing field.
Am I making sense or have I tripped and fallen into the rabbit hole again?
Hm-m-m-m... Maybe some Jefferson Airplane this morning?
"One pill makes you larger
"One pill makes you small..."
Maybe the rabbit hole is the place to be...
The piece of my personal Blame Game is a sub-sport I call, "Tit for Tat." I am a multi-lingual poet and song-writer during my hobby hours. Girl-howdy, I can counter any tit with masterful, quippy tats. I am surrounded by equally masterful Tit for Tat players. The talent seems to run in the family. When the clans get started in a Tit-for-Tat skirmish, we can volley the most innocent of details into a pulpy mass of hurt.
I have now control over the other players in this Blame Game. I will take credit for having invented the game myself if it will keep me off the playing field.
Am I making sense or have I tripped and fallen into the rabbit hole again?
Hm-m-m-m... Maybe some Jefferson Airplane this morning?
"One pill makes you larger
"One pill makes you small..."
Maybe the rabbit hole is the place to be...
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
I learned to take part to defend myself and felt like shi* doing it.
I quit doing it when I left home bc/ I realized the way to win a debate was not to make it an argument.
I also learned in college that you didn't need to destroy to win.
Sometimes, th victory lay in simply agreeing to disagree.
When my dad's family gathered, it was a melee. An all or nothing verbal joust punctuated by fists punching upper arms and so on.
And it was never anyone's fault who participated.
Only the fault of those of us who tried to avoid particpating, b/c obviously if we had chimed in, someone would've "won".
I do not know how you win the Pain Game.
I was too busy wishing someone would hear the silent screaming and stop my pain to care.
Life on the other side of the looking glass....
No idea if this is where I meant to go but here I am...
Still wondering: How exactly are these games scored? What counts as a point? What exactly do you "win"?
Gentle hug to you,
Leo
In the family I gave birth to, walking away is not so easy... Since my children became adults, I have run all the way to the Southern Hemisphere to remove my maternal toxins from the equation, butt... Even from another hemisphere I feel and respond to their pain and their blame.
W xu zhng wn. I am studying Mandarin. I wonder if the Eastern Hemisphere will be far enough?
Sometimes forgiveness is right where you fell.
It keeps me from running. Which I want to. SO badly. *sigh* But wherever I go, there I am.
I'd love to run. Run till I can't be found and can't find the way back. Calgon can't take me away but if I flag down a UFO, don't be surprised....
Today I am feeling like letting it all go...at least for a bit. I have been down so deep for weeks time for some air!