Welcome to the board shesara.... You could absolutely have some post traumatic stress from an abusive relationship

I looked at these words that you wrote

" I couldn't figure out for the longest time why I would get defensive when someone would talk down to me, or make me feel like I was stupid or making the wrong decision. I'm loosing sleep over this,"

Why wouldn't you be angry at someone who treated you like this??... I would be

Have you seen a psychiatrist or psychologist shesara?..... It might be good to get a diagnosis and be referred for appropriate treatment.....

There is good help available.... Gentle hug....xo

There may be some transference going on

Transference
Transference is a phenomenon in which one seems to direct feelings or desires related to an important figure in one’s life—such as a parent—toward someone who is not that person. In the context of psychoanalysis and related forms of therapy, a patient is thought to demonstrate transference when expressing feelings toward the therapist that appear to be based on the patient’s past feelings about someone else

Yep, and I'll tell you something more, shesara. There's not only mental abuse in addition to physical abuse, there's spiritual abuse PTSD, too. I ought to know, my dad was a pastor at the same time he was beating me and my mom in the home and verbally abusing us between church services. He finally got caught by his church board abusing church people there, too, and was fired and his ordination revoked. Mental abuse is very real.

I’m sorry you had an abusive marriage too. I never really recovered from mine but I know my upbringing set the stage for me to be in such a relationship. I hope you can heal and find resilience again. Be careful what you share with other people though, they’re not therapists and are not always understanding. Good luck

I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time. You simply can't "get over it" so whomever suggested that was not an informed person. It will take time, healing, reconnecting with people in a positive way. Have you thought about counseling? I think it would be a safe way for you to share your experiences and be able to start taking movements forward in a less-scary situation. I have been in your shoes and it is hard, but it does get easier. Hugs to you.

Yes you can develop PTSD through mental and emotional abuse. I did. Emotional abuse at work triggered my PTSD from prior trauma and abuse experienced in childhood.

Like others mention, counseling can help. Wishing you peace.

Counseling really does help, I can tell you that from my own experience. Give it a whirl.

Agrees mental abuse can caused PTSD.