proof unavailable, but methinks i am making progress in identifying the covidic blanket which has oppressed my grieving process. i still feel the guilt of needing to maintain masked social distances from the well-publicized grief of those who have lost loved ones to the virus, but the grief of losing a son to non-covidic means is finding its way out of the mandated social margins. at least, that is my prayer of the day as i muster the courage to unmask **out there**. at this stage, i am plying radical acceptance. it is what it is, whether i understand it or not.

today's read from "hope for today" is resonating loudly. reinforcement in progress.

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"wow!" that word expresses such wonder, excitement, surprise and humility. it's a word i use often, yet pay little attention to its meaning or power. for example, this morning when i awoke, the sun was shining brightly, the sky was a deep and cloudless blue, and the autumn trees radiated gold, bronze, and copper. without thinking about it, my first reaction was to exclaim, "wow!"

i was struck by the fact that i had nothing to do with creating such a beautiful morning. that meant i probably had no effect on the rainy or snowy mornings, either. in fact, weather was one of the many things completely out of my control. this perception relieved me of responsibility for the weather, sunny or cloudy and reminded me of the many things in life over which i have no control. i can only let go and let them be. i felt grateful for this reminder and i began to count my other blessings as well. my job was to simply enjoy the morning and be grateful for the experience of beauty. the day was off to a great start.

now i take more notice of the "wow" moments in my life. i acknowledge my feelings, such as gratitude, joy and humility that come with appreciating something i didn't affect or create. for each person or event that crosses my path today, i thank my higher power. i accept that i don't have to work hard for this day's delights because they are a gift from my higher power. all i need to do is pay attention and enjoy my honest emotions as the day progresses.

thought for today

i take time to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me.

"when i gather flowers or marvel at nature's wonders, i do not lose face when i concede that i am not in control" ~anon

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yesterday's literal rain was not enough to break the drought, but it was enough to make the air fresh and crisp this morning. think i'll go appreciate a wowful sunrise while i pray for the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.