Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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more and more i believe serenity triggers my hypervigilance in meaner ways than trauma and chaos. a fall from grace hurts far worse than stewing in the familiar chaos and dysfunction. i begin focusing the less than perfect spots in my current circumstances, watching diligently for the proverbial snakes to jump through the cracks. the diligent watch becomes self-fulfilling prophecy with discouraging ease.
today's read from "courage to change" is resonating with me as a good meditation to carry through this day.
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sometimes a horse refuses to obey the rider's command and races out of control. my thoughts can do this too, when i frantically try, over and over, to solve a difficult problem. riding lessons have taught me not to continually repeat a command louder, but to stop the horse, get his attention, and begin again.
likewise, when my thoughts race out of control, i need to stop. i may do this by breathing deeply and looking at my surroundings. it can help to replace the obsessive thoughts with something positive, such as a mantra, the serenity prayer or another comforting topic that has nothing to do with my problem.
later i may want to think about the problem again in a more serene way with the help of a peer supporter or professional. when i put some distance between myself and obsessive thinking, i can better look at my situation without losing all control.
today's reminder
sometimes i have to let go of a problem before i can find a solution. my racing thoughts may be making so much noise that i can't hear the guidance my inner voice is offering. quieting the noise is a skill i can learn with practice. at first i may have to still my thoughts again and again, but in therapy i learn that practice makes progress, one minute, one thought at a time.
"all human miseries derive from not being able to sit quiet in a room alone." ~blaise pascal
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today i leave the mood icon squarely on okay. my little ship of fools is holding steady through the stormy sees.
just sharing. open discussion.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
It's true of me, and I'll always be grateful that the same week my psychiatrist diagnosed me with PTSD she also signed me up for weekly meditation classes so I could learn to be still.
Now it really is working for me in my daily walks with my s/o's 13 year old son Dani. He and I really have some talks on those walks, but what I enjoy just as much is how comfortable we both are walks blocks on end in serene silence. There's no need to perform, no need for nervous chatter. It's great.
angels whisper to those who walk ~charles dickens
walking gets my vote as the best meditation ever devised.
"angels whisper to those who walk ~charles dickens"
Bless you.