Not sure I understand. Want to explain this some more?

It could easily be that experiencing new events of the same type where you were previously put down, could be causing an aversion to such events. Why not?

Just like an early bad experience w/ water or an old song we heard when we were going through a rough time, brings back the feelings of the time before.

These 'barbie doll' events as you call them may have symbolic meaning that is linked with dislike and avoidance.

Conversely, maybe you have never been interested in 'barbie doll' type of situations, which led to the initial mean girl put downs, i.e. your discomfort was sensed and pounced upon.

Doesn't matter, you don't have to play barbie.

I was always the new kid on the block and white trash, to boot. The butt of every joke and worthy of every righteous scratch.

I was never invited to these events until I was middle aged and had money. I am fully ignorant of the symbolic meanings, etc. Not real interested in learning now.

Butttttaaa...

Methinks another batch of repressed memories is emerging...

I didn't have that experience, Arfie, and I'm sorry you did. And those ole' repressed memories, it's better when they surface, and you may get kid-like feelings about them for a while, but they'll be out and dealt with. I'm working on one that reared it's little head in December, and I had a flash of it again Friday. Good thoughts to you.

I grew up in an American Colony is Latin America....everyone around me was caucasian looking and i'm mixed and look ethnic....I did feel like i did not belong and actually the people living there were racist...we were the "mixed kids" because my father was american and his wife my step-mother was american...my real mother is latin.....so we were treated as inferior........

My only barbi game was *may trigger*.
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That Ken raped barbi....i don't totally remember why...

k well, if another bunch of memories is emerging, feel free to share it with us, or to journal it, and hang on for the ride through it to resolution.

In a way I can relate to that, as was in an elementary school for a few years that was very clicquey and they felt more 'in' by putting other people more 'out', and I was 'out'.

I realize now that those little 'in' groups are people that put themselves in little boxes, and that they isolate themselves together in those little boxes,, and that there is a great big world out here and I've come to think they did me a favor by not letting me close myself up in a little Barbie box.

And here you are, you've survived, and we love you. And there is a whole world out here of people who don't look like Barbie.

hugzzz

i come from "white trash," too arfie, though I didn't know it growing up as I did in South America. When I came up to the US as a young adult, I encountered it all at once. Know the Snopes family from the William Faulkner novels? That bad. No wonder my nuclear family ran to South America 9,000 miles away from those folks. White trash really do a number on each other in an extended family system....Yee haw.

I thought about this post last night.

BTW i doubt you were ever trash of any kind Arfie for starters you're a very intelligent person and i'm sure you've been one all your life..

I have very dear to me people who by some pompous AH from wall st or something would consider to be "white trash".....I think its the opposite white trash would be someone who doesn't understand real value and what constitutes it like nouveau rich who think material things bring their status up...

Those irk me...class is a way of thinking and it includes real values....anyone that treats another like they're inferior based on stupid rationale has no class.No matter the last name or how much they're worth on paper, or PHDs..

Well said Unomas.

If anyone is interested, I posted my current understanding of the emergent memory in my journal. It is a series of entries.

If history has taught us anything, it is that social class, intelligence and personal worth are all separate issues. Each needs its own unit of measure.

In a culture where light skinned folks have a world-language repertoire of degrading names thrown at them, none argued that I was any more than White Trash. There is simplicity in that. I can detach a bit from disparaging talk about WASPs, gringos, crackers, gai jian, infidels, goyum, etc., etc. Just a bit.

In addition, I still need to champion the cause of children who are being stuffed into trash cans on this very day. Can I invite a questioning of what we call, "trash?"

I am white trash and proud of it.

One thing I noticed Arfie- you said no one invited you until you had money. I smell a rat in this- could someone just be greed and trying to take advantage of your better financial condition? I have a policy of if I am not good enough for you when I am down, then I don't need to be your friend when I am up. I have never been invited to a bridal or baby shower. AND I DON'T CARE. I don't get into the gossip and other stuff that people say happens at them. I don't go to things just because I was invited- I have to feel it is an invitation from the heart of the person, not a gift grab.

Respect yourself arfie and don't go unless you feel that the person really would appreciate you coming.

And yes this could be related to your childhood experiences with them. For me it is. Trigger warning:
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When I was in 5th grade, a girl in my class invited me to her birthday party in the next town over. Well I didn't know I was going to be the "entertainment". After opening presents and cake, we all went to the park. There I was set on by the rest of the kids from the party and they tried pulling off my pants while taunting me about my weight and that I was trash. I fought them off but I was basically the butt of every joke at the party. Could not wait to get away from them. I never was invited to any parties but my cousins and best friend's after that. Not that I wanted to go anyway.

I, too, have been "the entertainment" at mean parties. Being stuffed in trash cans is among the nicer memories of being the entertainment. I do not know of any ethnic group whose children have not connected "white trash" to stuffing classmates into trash cans... Sorry it happened to you, too.

However...

None of the young Mrs's issuing the invitations today were there in the 1960's when I went through that. Most of them hung out at my house and ran to me for comfort after they were the "entertainment" at the '80's and 90's evolution of this phenom. D.A.R.E. Ya, Stranger!

Yet still I feel used and abused...