Hi Sean,

Lots of topics in this question so I'll do my best to address them all.

Yes, I am employed and remained that way during the height of my PTSD symptoms (eg: flashbacks, inability to sleep, desire to isolate, panic attacks, you know the drill). That said, there were days when I would just completely zone out from flashbacks, or after therapy appointments, and I couldn't function at all. I'd just sit and stare off into space. Luckily for me, I work from a home office so as long as I kept my work production up I could take the time I needed to work through those times. My company has no idea that I have PTSD, neither does my family. I've kept it hidden and while I'm pretty sure my family thinks I have depression, or some kind of mental health issue, they don't talk to me about it. As for work, if I had an office with a desk and a start and stop time, with a boss to check in on me everyday ... there's pretty much no way I would have been able to stay employed during the height of my treatment. I was blessed to have the flexability to work from home which allowed me the time and space to deal with the effects of PTSD.

As for being married, no I am not. I'd love to be married ... but I think the age old adage is true, "I have to learn to love myself before I can expect others to love me." I'm getting there. Now that I'm, for the most part, out of the crisis stages of PTSD I'm starting to focus on my personal goals in life. Until now I've focused all of my energies on my professional goals, since I live alone and there's no one else to support me. I needed to stay employed and that took a lot of energy to do. I'm finding that I can split my focus and energies now ... some professional, some personal. Balance. It's something I've paid lip service to for years ... but am truly starting to pursue. A balanced personal and professional life would be nice.

As for God, yes I believe. I am a Christian who has struggled with my faith and has now come back to it. I wish I'd never had to experience a crisis of my faith but now, on the other side of a several year struggle, I find my belief to be stronger and more a part of day to day life. God isn't something "out there" ... God is right here with me every second of my day. I am blessed.

Those are my responses to your post. If you have more specific questions feel free to message me.

Wishing you peace.

Hey Sean,

I was diagnosed in 1996 and have continued working--up until last June. My preference is to continue working.

I am unmarried, but wish to marry. Have lived alone for most of my single life (although have lived with others in this time, as well).

Bottom line is RESPECT. The primary difficulties I experience are with triggers. If those around me (co-workers, boss, etc.) Are respectful, working or co-existing is quite possible. Respect fosters safety and trust in any relationship.

I am also Christian. Catholic to be more specific. I honor my faith in every regard possible but do not attend mass.
My faith was instrumental at the onset of my healing process. Not sure what you meant by "How do you live as a Christian with PTSD." Care to qualify that question a bit more?

hey Jennybyc,
How did you work, and is there any support for my wife. You see my daughter was molested almost 2yrs ago which brought up alot of stuff for me which both me and my daughter brought up stuff for my wife how does she cope.

I am both employed and married.
My PTSD (and I deal with a mTBI as well) has been very difficult on both fronts.

As far as my marriage goes, it has been most difficult due to the fact my husband at first was completely unsupportive. He did not believe that PTSD was a real affliction..in fact he would yell and scream at me to "F-ing get over it". Thankfully this has improved quite a bit over time.

As far as work, it was not an option to allow my PTSD to affect my work. It was also not an option to work from home. My income is our number one source of money..my husband was laid off for quite a while.
I would just suck it up and use about 80% of my energy to focus and get through the work day. One day at a time. When i would get home I would collapse. I did this for a really long time. What was really hard is that each day I would have a major trigger going to work and coming home as I drove through the intersection where my MVC occured. However, like I said I did not have an option but to put on my mask and get through the work day.

My best to you both and your family.

I'm a married Christian who works part time. I worked full time until we had kids. Work helped me to keep my sanity but it was hard to try to appear "normal" when I was so full of shame and anxiety from childhood abuse. I put on a different face around co-workers and society but truly wanted to kill myself for years and years. I never attempted it but just wanted to die.

I still don't understand why God allows abuse - especially of young helpless children. But I am learning to accept that I won't have that answer in this lifetime. I need Jesus Christ. My faith is extremely important to me and my healing.

I work full time. It seems to keep my off the bad things. My toughest time is when I go to bed. I was given an anxiety medication which I take with a sleep medication which really helps me get the sleep I need to function. When I don't sleep my symptons are at least 10X. I have found that exercise has also helped me quite a bit. OIt allows me to sleep better, and helps me mentally as I attain goals. Reaching out to god, family and friends really helped me get started on the road to recovery. Some of those friends I met on DS.

Heyt what's up,
Well short update then i will answer some of your questions. I saw my psych yesterday. Surprise my doctor left VA and I have a new one. Another wasted hour with guideline questions with new doc, who turns out is temp for three months. Another set back in therapy, still in beginning stages of treatment. Oh and my plans to try to go to school to do something, were sqaushed. My doc would not release me because he feels like it is just repeating the cycle, and that it is too early in my treatment. Thoughts race from there and I go downhill.

Hey what's up?
Ok guys now to the questions and my comments. For those that work or have worked specifically Raefx, and jennybyc How did and do you do it! Yes my wife was abused sexually by her brother. Sometimes I question why she does not have ptsd and I do. Today is not so good my focus is way off. I will try to write more later.

Hey what's up?
Well I found out why I am afraid of going to sleep! I was exhausted last night and actually fell asleep before eleven. I woke up with a massive wave of anxiety and sweating!! I do not remember all of the nightmare only that I was going to Vegas and there was so much blood. My wife said that I was shouting and screaming something forceful in my sleep. All I know is that whatever happened made the start of the day terrible. Also I figured out one of the main reasons I hate going and am terrified of going out. Me, my wife, and my daughter have gone through sexual abuse in one form or another. Now I look at everyone like they could do that. I am constantly looking over my shoulder. Well today sucks all my thoughts or leaning towards toxicictity. People look at me like I am the man and should provide, have a job and march on, but with all in my head I just praise God I am not dead.
Well on a positive note I put on music that I have on my computer, I played songs and put it on shuffle. The first song that came on gave me hope, it is Matthew west I know your there. well bye for now. God Bless, Sean