Infighting over meds, to diagnose (or not), labels, and treatments seem perennial. I'm not a believer in one-size-fits-all.

Bipolar boards are far from alone. Jump over to the autism/asperger boards sometime for some fun-in-the-sun (sarc). It's not active on DS anymore, but it had it's moments.

My therapy started in the early 70's when the political mainstream was outraged over the epidemic of people who were addicted to newly illegal prescription drugs. Most everybody here is old enough to remember the historical War on Drugs that was launched in the 80's. Drugs which we used in my psychotherapy were handled with tremendous caution on all parts. Yes, we all called them, "drugs." Even the pharmacist.

Getting from there to Medication Therapy Compliance remains a political hurdle that is ? ? ? daunting for my hyper-vigilant conditioning? Outside my political correctness skill set? Nothing shy of confusing.

Oh, for the love of balance. . .

My original diagnosis was depression only in 1985, so I took my meds for that and did my therapy, not talking about any traumas. I joined Alanon as my support group.

Then in 1995 my diagnosis was amended to manic-depression with PTSD, so I took different meds for that, and joined a Bipolar support group where I didn't talk about my traumas, either.

Then in 2009, having moved to a new area, I lucked upon a therapist who had a PhD in PTSD and years of post-doctoral experience with Iraq war vets. He recognized me for what I am and got me to talk about my traumas, beginning with how I survived a car bombing overseas in a war in South America as a kid like a lot of his vets did in the Iraq War. I was taken off of all bipolar meds and put on Seroquel for PTSD, even though as an antipsychotic med Seroquel is actually for schizophrenia, not PTSD.

Doing the math, from my original diagnosis in 1985 to 2009 it took doctors 24 years to get my diagnosis just right. Part of the reason was that I wasn't seeing the right specialist, a real top notch PTSD specialist, and part of the reason was that between 1985 and 2009 the science of the PTSD specialty itself evolved.

When I get upset that it took so long, I remind myself to be grateful I happened to benefit from the uptick in PTSD research the suffering from the Iraq War prompted. I remind myself to remember the many Iraq War soldiers who died or survived with permanent combat wounds.

I hope the surge in PTSD research now continues its momentum so that maybe science will go on to develop actual medication for us with PTSD the way it did for those with bipolar disorder. I was compliant with taking my lithium for all those years I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and as a salt it did a number on 60% of my kidneys. The Seroquel for schizophrenia I took with compliance for my PTSD, too, and it contributed to my kidney damage as well.

And yet I would be grateful if an drug directly for PTSD came out some day, not just those tranquilizers like Ativan to treat the symptoms of PTSD nor antipsychotics for schizophrenics prescribed for a PTSD diagnosis as a sideline, too. That would really be great, just speaking for me, for there to be a med for hypervigilance like there is with lithium for mania. To me it wouldn't be about me and balance anymore, it would be about science finally hitting the bull's eye for me instead. Hope it happens in my lifetime. I have, after all, been for many years now a patient patient.

I can relate to feeling estranged from things that should be supportive. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. I also do not use medication, though I have no history with BP, I understand the worldly dilima. What helps me is to remember that they don’t know me and I don’t have to explain myself to them. My doctors are on board with me not taking medication. I have tried so so many. As Patti said one size can’t fit all. Unfortunately for some of us that means support groups may not fit us very well. We have to get creative, find our toolboxes. In them we can have tools we control or other safe humans to help us when we need them. One size doesn’t fit all but that doesn’t mean we are a lost cause. You’re doing a good job.