Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Man Apron Update

arfie
arfie
Certainty is never available when my memory blocks come down, but I kinda feel like the man apron memory has fully emerged. It led me to a pre-schooler's eye view of a 1950's quilting bee. A quilting frame is quite large. Large enough to hold a double bed quilt tight. There is enough room for a significant number of children under there. Some of the women at the bee are designing man aprons for sons and husbands. Methinks it is where I learned the term, "man apron."

The clearest memory is of needles poking through the quilt over our heads and making things out of the threads and scraps which fell on the floor.

Just an update. Still not overly confident of it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Speaking of memories, mine are more like exhibits in a museum than a straight line of events. It's like my mind is a building with lots of rooms in it and I go from room to room when I remember something. Whatever is in one room can remind me of something in another area of my mind.

My point is, my therapist and I have talked about memories that would hurt me being in rooms I cannot get to. Not behind locked doors. More like I don't even know those rooms are there.

I'm glad you are remembering. It can take some time to look around and see everything. I think you're doing a great job. How do you feel about your emerging memories?
verasanader
verasanader
My memories are becoming less and less clear, the cause of it cant say for sure but guessing long term on high dose of certain meds affected my memories, and have now short term memory too.

Nothing is clear, just bits of everything that can come at any time and sometimes is frustrating not having clear memory about it.
arfie
arfie
In my most recent go-rounds I have come to imagine my brain has set up a Regiment of Neuron Guards to prohibit access to any childhood memories. Theirs is not to judge "Good" or "Bad." They are soldiers with an assigned mission. Theirs is to Guard and prohibit access.

Just an image.

Whatever those particular, the innocent memories are seem to be more painful to access than the traumatic ones. For now.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
It's good how you're working on recovering a memory, bit by bit. I was telling Alan here in another thread how 51% had a breakthrough in her therapy today. She posted that she recovered a memory going back to when she was 3. It's a disturbing one--the trauma ones are--but it clears up the fog of the past and brings more understanding.

Keep going, arfie.
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