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Life longevity

jennyoo7
jennyoo7

Is it common amongst you folk to believe that you'll have an early demise? It is with me. Like the best is yet to come but I won't be here for it. Which makes me feel guilty saying because the best is happening all over my life time, particularity with my kids. I just can't wait for the day when my moods and anxiety aren't part of my every day life. When I think about grandkids I get so excited to see my kids in the parent role, living their lives and (hopefully) I get to be hands on, but I worry I won't be alive to enjoy it all. Idk just rambling here. 

arfie
arfie
This folk(singular) started out as a doomsayer statistic that wasn't SUPPOSED to make it to 30. Child sex trafficking survivors seldom do. I was even in favor of fulfilling the doomsayer prophesy. I was dealt a purely suck-ass foundation to build a life on.

But here I am, 3 days past my 64th birthday and it still surprises me, sometimes, especially on the days I am finding sincere joy in simply being alive.

Alas, I'm still feeling my mortality. None of us gets out of this life alive and it's already too late for an *early demise* in my case. All the more reason to sieze the day and let the end-game mysteries be. It ain't over till it's over.

Oh, for the love of balance. . .
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Had doctors (plural) tell me I wouldn't make it out of my 20's. At 71 have reached an age neither of my parents and various other relatives didn't get to see. It will happen when it happens. Comforting hugs.
jennyoo7
jennyoo7
Thanks guys, probably just one of my many quirks lol. I'm so worried about jinxing things because I've seen history repeat itself so have this worry that if I get excited about the future it will make it not happen. I used to have to pray before I drove and that stopped once a huge trigger moved out of my life, then it went to having to say a prayer for any markers of accidents along the highway, those crosses or flowers indicating an accident happened there, and now this. Although I can happliy say it's not as compulsive as those used to be, this ones just kinda like a rain cloud, there but still living and doing life on life's terms.
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