My tip would be to stay true to whatever has given you the feeling that you are making progress. There are no speedy cures or clear cut paths to follow. Be patient with the process. Be gentle with yourself.

YAY!!! EMDR tomorrow!! Hope it strengthens your feeling of progress.

Thanks!

I never did EMDR, so let us know how helpful it is with finding peace, ok? As for me, right after I was diagnosed, I got into a meditation group, and it helped me get some inner peace going with my dx from the start. It doesn't solve all problems, but it gave me something to go on. Still does.

Thanks, all I know is that the hurt feeds the patterns in my mind. Don't want to trigger anyone but self harm has been percolating. Going to try the tiger balm tonight.

Hey, you're not alone. I'm going through this huge undertaking of forgiving almost everyone I know right now and I have bad days, bad moments, moments where I get angry all over again and want to cry my face off. I'm a misfit and an outcast and I always have been, so I don't have a lot of friends or people I feel like I can trust, especially now. It's a process to let it all go and move forward. But you're doing it for yourself and it's a healthy and necessary step in recovery. So take your time and do it thoroughly, because recognizing that it isn't going to happen overnight is what is going to carry you through. Don't give up on yourself. You deserve the peace you seek.

Thanks, I guess I am struggling to come to terms with the things that happened. Not necessarily forgive. Not angry at those who hurt me. Just coming to terms with the hurt they inflicted on me, the abuse by my brother the still favored son, the fact my siblings received birthday gifts but I didn't because they couldn't afford mine, etc.

I understand. My brother was always the favored one out of the two of us and he still is, too. I kinda accepted that I barely exist when he's around a long time ago. He even got presents when it was my birthday! I'm sorry you've had to go through that, too, because I know how much it sucks.

Seems like we're both still looking for our tribe - people who won't treat you like an afterthought or a burden. I hope you find yours soon because you're worthy of feeling loved and happy, even if it's not by the people in your bloodline.

EMDR helped me get over the tremendous pain. I still have a lot I haven't worked through but it helped me conceptualize things differently. We are not our past. You are not diabetes. Best of luck to you.

As others have said there is certainly no quick fix and it does take time there are bad days and there are good days.

knowing i am strong and that i can control who i am and where i am now is the thing i remind myself each day and i try to do what i can to live with some fun through the hurt and the pain i have a direction that i want to go and i focus on that as much as i can.

Keep your chin up and breathe deeply find something you enjoy and follow that small steps and time you will find it easier from day to day and will want to have that bit of fun more often

It sounds like you are on the right track. One thing that gave me some peace was finding a way to forgive those who hurt me. It was not easy, but one counselor helped me figure out a way to "let it go." I wrote a letter to the abuser - how they hurt me, how it made me feel and was still affecting my life. Basically I let it all out. Then she read the letter as me, and I listened as the abuser reacting as I would have liked the abuser to. The role play was a little helpful but more so the next step. I took the letter home, read it once more, then burned the letter, praying as I did for God to help me let go of the hold it had on me. It felt like a weight lifted off of me. It may prove helpful for you as well. Prayers for continued strength and peace.

Hope you find peace or at least a path that you are comfortable on were you don't need to feel like crying and if you do please share. I to have a hard time trying to come to terms with what I have been through and I know I wont forgive them but I would at least like to get through a day were I am not wondering why or what if's. I have tried different things but nothing seems to work, I also have trouble sleeping or even falling asleep as I am always afraid to close my eyes because I always have reoccurring nightmares were I'm back in the past and I don't wanna be there anymore.

I find the EMDR helps the hurt too. Really good post as I have been thinking about this too. I heard a really interesting guy talking on the radio...forgot his name, about abuse and healing and that was the main part to moving forward and transforming the pain was forgiveness. I know this and well working on this for a long time. The EMDR is helpful as I do remember one session getting a sense of the abusers feeling, it was really weird to see that and uplifting. I have many more layers to go though lol

I struggle with who to forgive. Today my counselor checked on self-harm and asked if I banged my head. I could feel my anger and dismay surge. I don't bang my head. I did as a child after trauma happened and I was trapped in my room with no outlet. I was mad at myself and who I was. I was 6. I punished myself for being me. Working through it slowly in EMDR.

And the message in my head that rings out is "why didn't they love me!" Crying. But I will be ok.