When will it end?? It seems as if I can go a week or so before some trigger sets me off again. This time I got served with court papers because my ex is stopping support. It is my only source of income. Even though I have letters from 2 Psychiatrists that have said my 30 year abusive marriage left me with a severe case of PTSD and they do not believe I will ever be capible of living a normal life again, the judge and the court system seem not to believe PTSD exists. Or if it does, it is like a cold and you will be fine next week. We are just faking our syptoms or lazy. The legal system has no patience for how we suffer. They  do not understand I cannot drive at night because I always get lost and have a panic attack. I have had night terrors that have sent me to the ER and they don't know what to do with me. I am unable to even dial a phone because I can't think. But one of the worst things is the anticipatory anxiety I suffer. The court date is in 1 month and I am already going into overload. Every memory I have of my ex scares me to death. I will now be making sure I have my barriers up until court is over. Everyday will increase the stress and fear and interfere with my life, moving me backwards into a place I never want to experience again, but have no choice. Why can't people, my ex, just get on with their life and leave me alone. Let me live a couple of months without PTSD? And why can't there be attorneys who are willing to stand by me when I can't think and my mind goes blank??